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What Would Ripley from Aliens Do?
Contest Hosted by Joe Crowe

Today's Dilemma: I don't really get along well with mothers.


"...but Zappa's music is still pretty cool." (n9oca@aol.com)

"Don't be such a bore, when Momma comes back, just grin and accept the face hugger. And if you do the breathing excercises right it won't hurt so bad!" (kniofheart@aol.com)

"Well yeah. In space, no one can hear your late night gab sessions over a quart and half of Ben and Jerry's." (drobviousso@excite.com)

"Stay away from her, you bitch." (playanime210@aol.com)

"I dunno, I can't get past the "Well, dear, just remember I would let you punch a hole in my chest cavity." line." (motherfilker@hotmail.com)

"Then you'd better not hang around me - I've had two kids myself. You did watch the director's cut of Aliens 2, right?!? And let's not even go there on the second one - Ron Perlman still gives me grief about HIM." (crow_steve@hotmail.com)

"Well, I've always found that a tub of nice hot lead is all it takes to get rid of all that stress associated with a visit from a mother. Really gets the kinks out. But don't forget to follow it up with a cool shower, it's very revitalizing for the skin. And if that doesn't work, you know what they say...if you can't beat 'em, join 'em." (splifford@hotmail.com)

"The solution is simple really, Climb into a big power loader, kick the crap out of the mother then throw the bitch out of your house. Afterwards, though, I'd suggest looking for any of her vile spawn that might have escaped into your house while she was here... damned hindsight..." (see317@attbi.com)

"What works for me is to kill one of their spawn, then threaten the unborn. Once she knows you mean business, you'll have a better chance at diplomacy."

"As someone who has blown up her own ship, been trapped in a colony with a screeching little blonde gidgit and idiot marines, been forcably crash-landed on a penal world with a dog burster, been dead, been cloned, and had to spend hours with Winona "If I try to act, I'll probably have a coronary and die from the stress" Ryder, I think it safe to say that the people I, Ripley, REALLY have a problem with are script writers." (baeldrinahr@hotmail.com)

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