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What Would Chaka, The Monkey Boy From Land of the Lost, Do?
Contest Hosted by Joe Crowe, June 02, 2002

Today's Dilemma: What can I do to impress the cute girl who just moved in next door to me?


Sometimes much unfortunate ignorance appears during the search for wisdom.

.....who the hell is Chaka?! (simba209@yahoo.com)

What part of "the monkey boy from Land of the Lost" was unclear to you?

Also on the path toward wisdom, one might encounter anger.

Be a different character, and perhaps one from a show that people actually watched. (themystech@yahoo.com)

This harsh commentary seems overwrought and unnecessary, especially in light of the fact that most of the wisdom one might find from Chaka would be about the hurling of feces.

Well, I'd _____ (Insert your own poop flinging joke here). (mattara@rocketmail.com)

1) Learn to play the guitar. Chicks dig that a lot.
2) Write her a poem. One that rhymes. Remember though, that 'Oongawa' doesn't rhyme with too much. (rhythman1234@hotmail.com)

Push her "overly friendly" uncle back through the dimension door he came out of and get her an uncle who's more interested in her big brother.

For starters, don't tell her that you like being spanked...seriously. (c_calthrop@hotmail.com)

Chaka! Chaka! Girl! Girl! (findlayboy@yahoo.com)

Take her behind a pylon and show her where little sleestaks come from. (mrbroe@yahoo.com)

So in the end, we learn through today's contest that the search for wisdom is never easy. But even if it was, would we want to go? Or would we just sit in our trees and fling poop?

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