Always one with an eye on future events, Paul "Muad'dib" Atreides announced
this afternoon that he would be forming an exploratory committee to see if he
could successfully mount a campaign for the American Presidency in 2004.
Careful observers will remember that Atreides failed in his bid for the presidency
in 2000 mainly because of the Supreme Court ruling against non-Americans, no
matter how close to the godhead they may be, attaining the highest office in
the land. However, Atreides doesn't believe that this past ruling will hinder
his newest efforts.
"We Fremen have a saying," Atreides intoned at his press conference. "God created
the bloated, bureaucratic, monstrosity of an American political system to test
the faithful. One cannot go against the will of God."
However, Atreides appears to be planning to do just that. Having denied the
Supreme Court their daily supply of melange for the past 6 months, Atreides
has single-handedly brought the entire judicial branch to its knees. It is rumored
that he has already stocked the Court with 9 clones of Duncan Idaho.
The Supreme Court declined to comment on this matter without first asking Atreides
Sources close to the Lisan Al-Gaib say that he is already hard at work on his
spice Platform, which will include planks such as prescription drugs for senior
citizens, economic reform and government subsidized weirding modules for inner
city school children.
The question-answer portion of the press conference was cut short when Atreides
began having a waking dream. His aides led him from the podium as the presidential
hopeful attempted to bite his own tongue off.
When asked what he believed Atreides' chances were, his aide-de-camp, Duncan
Idaho #837 answered: "We think he has just as much of a chance as Al Sharpton."