Fact: I'd rather watch a truly bad movie than a truly forgettable one.
Fact: Sasquatch is truly forgettable. In fact, if I wasn't writing
this review, I would have forgotten about it already. Furthermore' I' uh' What
was I writing about again?
Um— [looks down from the computer screen and sees a DVD case lying on the
table]— oh yes—Sasquatch. Sasquatch isn't that bad. The actors
aren't bad. The script isn't bad. The directing isn't bad. The cinematography
In fact, some of that stuff is pretty okay. In Sasquatch, six people
go looking in the woods for possible survivors of a plane crash, but what they
find instead is— a— a— what'd'ya call that thing again, that thing with the
big feet and the hair? Um, right, a Sasquatch.
Lance Henriksen's in this movie. Did I tell you that? You know, the guy who
was in Aliens and Millenium and Terminator. Yeah, that
guy rules. But when you talk about Lance Henriksen to your friends, you're not
going to say, 'You know, that guy who was in Sasquatch.' Because you'll
have forgotten all about Sasquatch. In fact, Lance Henriksen probably
hopes you'll forget about Sasquatch. Lance himself has probably already
forgot about Sasquatch.
'Hey, Lance, weren't you in that movie? It was called, I don't know, Yeti
'Uh, I don't remember. I made a lotta movies. Can we talk about Aliens
Lance brings gravity and dignity to his role in the movie. In fact, all the
actors do at least a serviceable job. There are a few funny lines. There's even
an interesting conflict between a woodsman and an famous adventurer/author who
turns out to be all talk and no knowhow. Some of the scenery (shot on location
in Canada) is lovely. Some of the sound effects are cool. The film-makers have
even shown a little restraint and earnestness; they're not trying to make just
another blood-soaked monster picture. But it all adds up to nothing much, and
it doesn't engage for more than a few seconds at a time.
It doesn't help that the movie is choppy and haphazardly edited. The disorienting
camera tricks get old quick. Plus there's the Sasquatch-cam. I swear, the makers
of Predator should get royalties every time someone does the UV spectrum/night
vision goggles/digitally altered image Monster P.O.V. schtick.
The film-makers are trying for genuine 'what if this happened to me?' atmosfear.
But it ends up being atmosforgot about it already. Not to mention that it's
hard to have a visceral reaction when the object of danger is basically a big
I mean, let's face it, the aura of mystery and on-the-fringe-of-reality possibility
that once surrounded the Bigfoot creature was pretty much drained away in the
time period between Sid and Marty Krofft's Bigfoot and Wildboy and Harry
and the Hendersons. One day, perhaps, someone will do a Sasquatch movie
that'll make the latent crypto-zoologist in you believe in Bigfoot again, but
this is not that movie. In the meantime, if you've got an itch for a genuinely
interesting and understated 'creature in the woods' movie, rent last year's
There's a commentary track on here. A pretty heavy duty feature for this type
of movie. It's got the director, two of the actors, and some guy who was the
producer or writer, I can't remember. In any case, the bad news here, though
it's not much of a surprise: Lance Henriksen is not one of the actors on the
commentary. Lance might have made the commentary track of more note than the
movie itself. The closest you get is one of the guys doing a couple of amusing
impressions of the gravelly-voiced actor, and a few fun Lance anecdotes.
Aside from the Lance stuff, the most entertaining part of the track is this:
the movie used to be called The Untold. The distributors changed the
title to Sasquatch, though evidently no one told the director or the
cast. So they're watching the movie, and the title comes up: Sasquatch,
and the next several minutes are punctuated with comments like, 'Is that what
this is called, Sasquatch'' and 'I can't believe this movie's called
Sasquatch', accompanied by confused/amused/bemused laughter.
Overall, the commentary track is mediocre, with a few too many lulls of silence,
pointless 'this is what's happening in this scene' narrations from the director,
and the actors telling the director things like 'I've never seen that shot before.
Aside from the commentary, it's the bare minimum: cast bios, a scant half-dozen
still photos, the Sasquatch trailer. And then there are the 'Bonus Trailers.'
Bonus trailers! I don't know why they didn't think of this earlier, back in
the days of VHS. Right on the box, it should have said, 'Not only do you get
this movie on VHS, but you also get something extra: trailers for other movies!'
Isn't that cool? Totally bonus, dude! Perhaps one day, movie theater operators
will get wise to this, and start charging us for all the bonus entertainment
we get from watching the 'coming attractions'.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not a trailer-hater. In fact, when I go to the theater,
I like a good five movie trailers before the main event. Anything less than
three, and I feel cheated. But getting trailers on a DVD is not a bonus. It's
expected. Maybe if there were, like, eight trailers, it'd be a bonus. But there
are only two, for the movies Infestation and Boa, starring Dean
Cain. After a brief preview of those movies, Sasquatch starts looking
like a wise entertainment choice.
Probably the most interesting aspect of Sasquatch is that it's based
on a true story. How do I know this? Because it says so right on the DVD case.
There's even an epilogue at the end of the movie to bring in that documentary
vibe. When the credits rolled, the one thing that kept me briefly thinking about
the movie was that I wondered about the 'true story' that inspired the movie.
But the commentary track doesn't really make reference to it. Nor is there some
feature (even a text-only one would have been fine) that gives some details
about the 'true story.' Nor does the official website have anything more solid
than some random Bigfoot links. Which leads me to suspect that Sasquatch
is based on a true story the same way some X-Files episodes are based
on a true story. The kind of 'based on a true story' where you read some books
about the collected lore of a creature, and then write a fictional piece with
fictional events and fictional characters.
Recommended for Bigfoot completists and Lance Henriksen groupies only.
The Movie Itself: 2 out of 10
The DVD Features: 3 out of 10