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Sci-Fi Theorizer: Spider-Man's Webbing
Contest Hosted by Joe Crowe, June 17, 2003

What's the deal with . . . in the Spider-Man movie, why doesn't his organic webbing come out of his butt?

The same reason why lasers don't come out of Superman's ass: He doesn't have one. (fnchnst@cox.net)

The Theorizer believes this is the first Theorizer response that asks more questions than it answers.

10. (WARNING! Drab Room material coming up!) 'Cause it didn't come outta his butt in the comic. Duh. (spazfox@mad.scientist.com)

The Theorizer will not be lured into placing someone in the Drab Room.


9. Long answer: First, it be a whole lot more awkward to swing between buildings like that. Then, his butt probably fulfills some other interesting purpose, like laying his millions of eggs in his prey. And of course if his organic webbing did come from there, if he developed bowl problems later in life, he couldn't really do much. Or if he just ate some bad chilli, he'd be firing his webs all over the damn place.

Short answer: What are you, sick? (jaguarwongrulz@hotmail.com)

8. Because Batman already has the homo-erotic subgenre all sewn up (mrbroe@yahoo.com)

7. They don't make those p.j's with the little trap door in the back in his size. At least I don't think so. Dear God I hope not. Do they? (alark2000@yahoo.com)

6. Who says it doesn't? It just happens to come out of his wrists, too. (themystech@yahoo.com)

5. Ugh, okay, I think... ooaagh, bleahhh... Alright, I'm okay. My theory is OH GOD!! BLLLEAAAAAAGGGHHHH!!!! (wolvie110@hotmail.com)

4. Because the nearest mammalian equivalent to spinnerets are nipples. And if you think wrists are stupid ... (andrew@fidai.clara.net)

3. Well, just imagine where the Green Goblin's pumpkin grenades would've been thrown from. (capndunzzl@yahoo.com)

2. You don't want to see Spider Man accidentally take a crap on the cable car full of kids while trying to shoot out some webbing. (fortinbras32@myownemail.com)

1. Nobody, I repeat, nobody, wants to see white stuff come out of Tobey MacGuire's butt. (motherfilker@hotmail.com and katchan@thinkers.org)

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