home : news : reviews : features : fiction : podcast : blogs : t-shirts : wtf?
 

Sci-Fi Hunks 2004
© Amy H. Sturgis
April 26, 2004

RevolutionSF recently posted the first part of a massive list of their favorite heroines. But where are the heroes? Better yet, where are the hot heroes? Forget all that enlightenment and self-sacrifice business. I embrace the topic of sexy sci-fi and fantasy stars wholeheartedly.

I tried to limit myself to ten, but I couldn't do it. So here are my picks, complete with Honorable Mentions. Deal with it.

Honorable Mentions:

  • Mark Goddard as Major Don West in Lost in Space ("Stranded Hunk")
  • Angus MacFadyen as Dr. Alva Keel in Miracles ("Cancelled Hunk")
  • John L. Adams as Bruce Lewis in The Dead Zone ("Rehab Hunk")
  • Andreas Katsulas as Ambassador G'Kar in Babylon 5 ("Lizard Hunk")
  • Lance Henriksen as Frank Black in Millennium ("Weathered Hunk")

15. Paul Darrow as Kerr Avon in Blake's 7: "Cynical Hunk"

Is it the clenched jaw, the unblinking stare, or the acidic comments that make Avon so unforgettable? Really, it's probably the studded black leather outfits he wears. Does he visit every S&M shop in the galaxy? It's as if he knows he's bad, and he's just waiting for the right person to spank him.

14. Robert Vaughn and David McCallum in The Man From U.N.C.L.E.: "Spy Hunks"

"Napoleon Solo or Illya Kuryakin?" used to be the "Ginger or Mary Ann?" litmus test for the science fiction set. I'd choose Robert Vaughn's sensual Napoleon more times than not, but I can see the appeal of the shy and mysterious Russian blond, as well. Together, the duo form a package unsurpassed in sophisticated, civilized, timeless hunkiness.

13. Anthony Head as Rupert Giles in Buffy The Vampire Slayer: "Librarian Hunk"

I must confess I'd choose Anthony Head's Oliver Sampson from the short-lived VR.5 over Giles -- I think it's the added earring and handgun that really do it for me -- but Giles was around much longer, and thus there's more of him to love. Oh yeah, and Giles also sings.

12. Bruce Harwood, Tom Braidwood, and Dean Haglund as The Lone Gunmen in The X-Files and The Lone Gunmen: "Geek Hunks"

Byers is the naive idealist with the heart of gold and the suit of polyester. Langly is the hippie freak hacker extraordinaire with the world's best kung fu. Sure, A.D. Skinner is built like a Greek god and puppy-dog-eyes Mulder is prettier, but The Lone Gunmen are an unbeatable team with heart and soul as well as guts. Besides, once you've had a little taste of Frohike, you can never go back.

11. Anthony Simcoe as Ka D'Argo in Farscape: "Tentacled Hunk"

Bigger than Crichton, badder than Crais, able to keep Chiana's impressive libido satisfied (usually, anyway), D'Argo has more brains than the average Klingon and more brawn than the average Romulan while still providing that exotic alien touch. Warrior, captain, comrade, and friend, D'Argo is warm and fuzzy in the right places -- and tattooed and pierced in the right places, too. But let's be honest: it's all about the tongue.

10. Richard Hatch as Apollo in Battlestar Galactica: "Ageless Hunk"

If science fiction has a Dick Clark, it must be Richard Hatch, who refuses to age a day -- or, for that matter, to stop playing the part of Apollo. More power to him, I say. His grave, angst-filled, long-lashed expressions prove his sensitivity while never undermining his masculinity. (Hey, I don't see them casting Apollo as a girl, do you? In your face, Dirk Benedict!) There are plenty of bad boys out there, but sometimes the wounded white knight is appealing, and Apollo fits the bill perfectly.

9. Keith Hamilton Cobb as Tyr Anasazi in Andromeda: "Engineered Hunk"

When the song "Whatta Man" praised "a body like Arnold with a Denzel face," it wasn't referring to Keith Hamilton Cobb: Arnold and Denzel could only wish. This one is self-evident, folks. Forget the luxurious voice, broody pouts, and kick-ass capability, and just look at him. The hunky Kevin Sorbo notwithstanding, it is a colder and lonelier Andromeda without Tyr Anasazi. But you know what the girls say: all the good ones are either taken, gay, or Nietzschean.

8. Alan Rickman as Severus Snape in the Harry Potter Movie Series: "Hogwarts Hunk"

Who knew when first reading the Harry Potter books that the oily Potions Master could be such a goth girl's fantasy come to life? Alan Rickman remakes Severus Snape in his own unique and oh-so-sexy image, much to the delight of audiences around the world. Only he can be so good when he's bad. One swirl of his black, black robes, one twirl of his long, long fingers -- but, really, he had me at "I can teach you how to bewitch the mind and ensnare the senses." Teach me, Professor Snape. Your dungeon or mine?

7. Sean Bean as Boromir in The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring: "Redeemed Hunk"

Confession: I'm a Pervy Hobbit Fancier. I've had a thing for Sean Astin since we were both twelve, and I practice random acts of Boydism at every opportunity. Nonetheless, my choice for a quick tumble in the hay of Middle-Earth would be the Gondorian who out-scruffies Viggo Mortensen's mouthwatering Aragorn and out-lovelies Orlando Bloom's androgynous Legolas. Who else could manage to appear so manly with a tear in his eye, or so virile with a dinner plate strapped to his back? He even makes multiple arrow wounds look good. Alas, I will look for him, but he will not return. (I could have made an obvious joke about blowing the Horn of Gondor here, but I'm just a little classier than that, aren't I?)

6. Michael Hurst as Iolaus in Hercules: The Legendary Journeys: "Mythological Hunk"

Yes, I know, the orthodox road to take here is to go with the undeniably beautiful Kevin Sorbo, but if I found myself in Corinth, I'd kick the demigod to the curb in favor of his faithful sidekick Iolaus (unless, of course, the two were open-minded and experimental, in which case I'd keep both for a menage a trois of "legendary" proportions). Why? There's the blond curls, the biceps, the smile, the biceps, the loyalty and courage, the biceps, and don't forget that infectious laugh. It doesn't hurt that Michael Hurst has it going on upstairs, as well, as a literate, articulate actor, producer, and director, and Down Under's foremost Shakespearian expert. Oh yeah, I'd hold his sword anytime.

5. Jeffrey Combs as Weyoun in Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: "Dominion Hunk"

Jeffrey Combs is luscious in any of his incarnations, from Dr. Herbert West of ongoing Re-Animator fame to Styles in FearDotCom, not to mention his multiple personalities on no less than three different Star Trek series. As the chilling Vorta diplomat Weyoun on Deep Space Nine, however, his finest traits -- expressive eyes, graceful hands, dry humor, and voice of pure silk -- shine most brightly. Whether portraying an evil and ambitious politician out to triple-cross Gul Dukat, or a sincere and faithful martyr dying in Odo's arms (remember Weyoun #6?), Combs steals nearly every single scene in which he appears. Combs consistently has paid his science fiction, fantasy, and horror dues over the years with great talent and integrity, and looked positively edible while doing so, and thus he wins my vote as favorite genre pin-up of all time.

4. Patrick McGoohan as No. 6 in The Prisoner: "Village Hunk"

The human male's sexiest organ is the brain. It just so happens that The Prisoner (written, directed, and produced by McGoohan, as well as starring him) showcases McGoohan's wit, charisma, mystery, and looks on top of his remarkable intellect. McGoohan was offered the role of James Bond twice -- both before and after Connery -- and the reasons for this are obvious when viewing The Prisoner. McGoohan has something to say, as well as a suave and sophisticated way of saying it. He'll always be a name, not a number, in my book.

3. William Shatner as Captain James Tiberius Kirk in Star Trek: The Original Series: "Fizzbin Hunk"

If a fight were to break out among Star Trek captains, well . . . Kathryn Janeway would whip out her plasma rifle and waste her competitors. If a fist fight were to break out, though . . . Benjamin Sisko would wipe the floor with Picard and Archer, and then actually have to expend a little bit of energy to dispense with Kirk. But in the galaxy's bedrooms, William Shatner's Kirk will always be on top. (Heh heh heh. See what I did there?) All girdle and toupe jokes aside, I have to give props to the original shirts-are-optional, space-karate-chopping captain who always leaves the ladies with a smile -- okay, and, on occasion, a child on the way. Did you ever see a morning-after Star Trek space babe with a less than satisfied smirk on her face? Didn't think so. He may not be "Mr. Right" material, but he's obviously worked as a splendid "Mr. Right Now" for a number of lasses, and that many gals can't be wrong. If I were in Starfleet, I'd be happy to serve under Kirk. (Heh heh heh. See what I did there?)

2. Sean Connery as Juan Sanchez Villa-Lobos Ramirez in The Highlander: "Headless Hunk"

The question isn't whether to put Connery on the list, but rather for what role to put Connery on the list. The man's been in more science fiction and fantasy films than I can shake a stick at, from James Bond (for whom I remain both shaken and stirred) and Zardoz (the most entertaining acid trip ever put to film) to The Avengers and League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (hey, the flicks may suck, but Connery looks good regardless of the vehicle or his advancing years). Never was he more tasty, however, than as the earringed and pony-tailed Immortal Ramirez. Sean Connery: there can be only one. 'Nuff said.

1. Liam Neeson as Qui-Gon Jinn in Star Wars: The Phantom Menace: "Forceful Hunk"

He has it all: the eyes, the voice, the hair, the athletic power and grace, the intellectual firepower and control, and a liberal amount of Jedi mystery and tragedy, to boot -- everything, in fact, but a decent movie script for his film, and he's so hot I can't hold that against him. Liam Neeson stands heads and shoulders above anyone else the entertainment industry currently has to offer in terms of pure thinking-woman's hunkage, in my humble opinion. He was tragically underused and shortchanged in Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, but the camera and I still love him.

 

Amy H. Sturgis will admit Aeryn Sun is hot on ANYONE'S scale.

 
Recommend Us
  • Send to a Friend
  • Digg This
  • Reddit It
  • Add to del.ic.ious
  • Share at Facebook
  • Discuss!
  • Send Feedback
  • Scott Pilgrim movie
  • Highlander: Twilight?
  • Tweets of Note
  • Feature Forum
  • Related Pages
  • Print This Page
  • Book Probe: Star Trek Guide, Trekonomics
  • Movie Probe: Chaos on the Bridge
  • Shatner Gets Up In Star Wars Kool-Aid, Totally Knows Flavor
  • Search RevSF
  • New on RevSF
  • Book Probe: BattleMaster, Wade of Aquitaine, Kriendria of Amorium
  • RevSF Podcast: Drowning in Moonlight: Remembering Carrie Fisher
  • Logan
  • Book Probe: All Our Wrong Todays, Cubit Quest, Esper Files
  • RevSF Home

  • Things From Our Brains
    Get even more out of RevSF.


    Your very own sweaty black RevolutionSF T-shirt!
     
    RevolutionSF RSS Feed
     
    Search RevSF


    Random RevSF
    Sci-Fi Slapass Remake Newsblast: They Live, Soylent Green, Tarzan

     
     
     
    contact : advertising : submissions : legal : privacy
    RevolutionSF is ™ and © Revolution Web Development, Inc., except as noted.
    Intended for readers age 18 and above.