RevolutionSF recently posted the first part of a massive list of their favorite
heroines. But where are the heroes? Better yet, where are the hot heroes? Forget all that enlightenment and self-sacrifice business. I embrace the topic of sexy sci-fi and fantasy stars wholeheartedly.
I tried to limit myself to ten, but I couldn't do it. So here are my picks, complete with Honorable Mentions. Deal with it.
- Mark Goddard as Major Don West in Lost in Space ("Stranded Hunk")
- Angus MacFadyen as Dr. Alva Keel in Miracles ("Cancelled Hunk")
- John L. Adams as Bruce Lewis in The Dead Zone ("Rehab Hunk")
- Andreas Katsulas as Ambassador G'Kar in Babylon 5 ("Lizard Hunk")
- Lance Henriksen as Frank Black in Millennium ("Weathered Hunk")
15. Paul Darrow as Kerr Avon in Blake's 7: "Cynical Hunk"
Is it the clenched jaw, the unblinking stare, or the acidic comments that make
Avon so unforgettable? Really, it's probably the studded black leather outfits
he wears. Does he visit every S&M shop in the galaxy? It's as if he knows
he's bad, and he's just waiting for the right person to spank him.
14. Robert Vaughn and David McCallum in The Man From U.N.C.L.E.:
"Napoleon Solo or Illya Kuryakin?" used to be the "Ginger or
Mary Ann?" litmus test for the science fiction set. I'd choose Robert Vaughn's
sensual Napoleon more times than not, but I can see the appeal of the shy and
mysterious Russian blond, as well. Together, the duo form a package unsurpassed
in sophisticated, civilized, timeless hunkiness.
Anthony Head as Rupert Giles in Buffy The Vampire Slayer: "Librarian Hunk"
I must confess I'd choose Anthony Head's Oliver Sampson from the short-lived
VR.5 over Giles -- I think it's the added earring and handgun that really do
it for me -- but Giles was around much longer, and thus there's more of him
to love. Oh yeah, and Giles also sings.
12. Bruce Harwood, Tom Braidwood, and Dean Haglund as The Lone
Gunmen in The X-Files and The Lone Gunmen: "Geek Hunks"
Byers is the naive idealist with the heart of gold and the suit of polyester.
Langly is the hippie freak hacker extraordinaire with the world's best kung
fu. Sure, A.D. Skinner is built like a Greek god and puppy-dog-eyes Mulder
is prettier, but The Lone Gunmen are an unbeatable team with heart and soul
as well as guts. Besides, once you've had a little taste of Frohike, you can
never go back.
11. Anthony Simcoe as Ka D'Argo in Farscape: "Tentacled
Bigger than Crichton, badder than Crais, able to keep Chiana's impressive
libido satisfied (usually, anyway), D'Argo has more brains than the average
Klingon and more brawn than the average Romulan while still providing that exotic
alien touch. Warrior, captain, comrade, and friend, D'Argo is warm and fuzzy
in the right places -- and tattooed and pierced in the right places, too. But
let's be honest: it's all about the tongue.
10. Richard Hatch as Apollo in Battlestar Galactica: "Ageless
If science fiction has a Dick Clark, it must be Richard Hatch, who refuses
to age a day -- or, for that matter, to stop playing the part of Apollo. More
power to him, I say. His grave, angst-filled, long-lashed expressions prove
his sensitivity while never undermining his masculinity. (Hey, I don't see them
casting Apollo as a girl, do you? In your face, Dirk Benedict!) There are plenty
of bad boys out there, but sometimes the wounded white knight is appealing,
and Apollo fits the bill perfectly.
Keith Hamilton Cobb as Tyr Anasazi in Andromeda: "Engineered Hunk"
When the song "Whatta Man" praised "a body like Arnold with
a Denzel face," it wasn't referring to Keith Hamilton Cobb: Arnold and
Denzel could only wish. This one is self-evident, folks. Forget the luxurious
voice, broody pouts, and kick-ass capability, and just look at him. The hunky
Kevin Sorbo notwithstanding, it is a colder and lonelier Andromeda without Tyr
Anasazi. But you know what the girls say: all the good ones are either taken,
gay, or Nietzschean.
8. Alan Rickman as Severus Snape in the Harry Potter Movie Series:
Who knew when first reading the Harry Potter books that the oily Potions Master
could be such a goth girl's fantasy come to life? Alan Rickman remakes Severus
Snape in his own unique and oh-so-sexy image, much to the delight of audiences
around the world. Only he can be so good when he's bad. One swirl of his black,
black robes, one twirl of his long, long fingers -- but, really, he had me at
"I can teach you how to bewitch the mind and ensnare the senses."
Teach me, Professor Snape. Your dungeon or mine?
7. Sean Bean as Boromir in The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship
of the Ring: "Redeemed Hunk"
Confession: I'm a Pervy Hobbit Fancier. I've had a thing for Sean Astin since
we were both twelve, and I practice random acts of Boydism at every opportunity.
Nonetheless, my choice for a quick tumble in the hay of Middle-Earth would be
the Gondorian who out-scruffies Viggo Mortensen's mouthwatering Aragorn and
out-lovelies Orlando Bloom's androgynous Legolas. Who else could manage to appear
so manly with a tear in his eye, or so virile with a dinner plate strapped to
his back? He even makes multiple arrow wounds look good. Alas, I will look for
him, but he will not return. (I could have made an obvious joke about blowing
the Horn of Gondor here, but I'm just a little classier than that, aren't I?)
6. Michael Hurst as Iolaus in Hercules: The Legendary Journeys:
Yes, I know, the orthodox road to take here is to go with the undeniably beautiful
Kevin Sorbo, but if I found myself in Corinth, I'd kick the demigod to the curb
in favor of his faithful sidekick Iolaus (unless, of course, the two were open-minded
and experimental, in which case I'd keep both for a menage a trois of "legendary"
proportions). Why? There's the blond curls, the biceps, the smile, the biceps,
the loyalty and courage, the biceps, and don't forget that infectious laugh.
It doesn't hurt that Michael Hurst has it going on upstairs, as well, as a literate,
articulate actor, producer, and director, and Down Under's foremost Shakespearian
expert. Oh yeah, I'd hold his sword anytime.
Jeffrey Combs as Weyoun in Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: "Dominion Hunk"
Jeffrey Combs is luscious in any of his incarnations, from Dr. Herbert West
of ongoing Re-Animator fame to Styles in FearDotCom, not to mention his multiple
personalities on no less than three different Star Trek series. As the chilling
Vorta diplomat Weyoun on Deep Space Nine, however, his finest traits -- expressive
eyes, graceful hands, dry humor, and voice of pure silk -- shine most brightly.
Whether portraying an evil and ambitious politician out to triple-cross Gul
Dukat, or a sincere and faithful martyr dying in Odo's arms (remember Weyoun
#6?), Combs steals nearly every single scene in which he appears. Combs consistently
has paid his science fiction, fantasy, and horror dues over the years with great
talent and integrity, and looked positively edible while doing so, and thus
he wins my vote as favorite genre pin-up of all time.
4. Patrick McGoohan as No. 6 in The Prisoner: "Village
The human male's sexiest organ is the brain. It just so happens that The Prisoner
(written, directed, and produced by McGoohan, as well as starring him) showcases
McGoohan's wit, charisma, mystery, and looks on top of his remarkable intellect.
McGoohan was offered the role of James Bond twice -- both before and after Connery
-- and the reasons for this are obvious when viewing The Prisoner. McGoohan
has something to say, as well as a suave and sophisticated way of saying it.
He'll always be a name, not a number, in my book.
3. William Shatner as Captain James Tiberius Kirk in Star Trek:
The Original Series: "Fizzbin Hunk"
If a fight were to break out among Star Trek captains, well . . . Kathryn Janeway
would whip out her plasma rifle and waste her competitors. If a fist fight were
to break out, though . . . Benjamin Sisko would wipe the floor with Picard and
Archer, and then actually have to expend a little bit of energy to dispense
with Kirk. But in the galaxy's bedrooms, William Shatner's Kirk will always
be on top. (Heh heh heh. See what I did there?) All girdle and toupe jokes aside,
I have to give props to the original shirts-are-optional, space-karate-chopping
captain who always leaves the ladies with a smile -- okay, and, on occasion,
a child on the way. Did you ever see a morning-after Star Trek space babe with
a less than satisfied smirk on her face? Didn't think so. He may not be "Mr.
Right" material, but he's obviously worked as a splendid "Mr. Right
Now" for a number of lasses, and that many gals can't be wrong. If I were
in Starfleet, I'd be happy to serve under Kirk. (Heh heh heh. See what I did
2. Sean Connery as Juan Sanchez Villa-Lobos Ramirez in The
Highlander: "Headless Hunk"
The question isn't whether to put Connery on the list, but rather for what
role to put Connery on the list. The man's been in more science fiction and
fantasy films than I can shake a stick at, from James Bond (for whom I remain
both shaken and stirred) and Zardoz (the most entertaining acid trip ever put
to film) to The Avengers and League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (hey, the flicks
may suck, but Connery looks good regardless of the vehicle or his advancing
years). Never was he more tasty, however, than as the earringed and pony-tailed
Immortal Ramirez. Sean Connery: there can be only one. 'Nuff said.
1. Liam Neeson as Qui-Gon Jinn in Star Wars: The Phantom Menace:
He has it all: the eyes, the voice, the hair, the athletic power and grace,
the intellectual firepower and control, and a liberal amount of Jedi mystery
and tragedy, to boot -- everything, in fact, but a decent movie script for his
film, and he's so hot I can't hold that against him. Liam Neeson stands heads
and shoulders above anyone else the entertainment industry currently has to
offer in terms of pure thinking-woman's hunkage, in my humble opinion. He was
tragically underused and shortchanged in Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, but the
camera and I still love him.