I’m watching Surface, and seeing hints of different kinds of sea monsters appearing in three different story arcs (at least), and some cameos. There are really big ones, dolphin-sized ones, and a little one that a tow-headed kid keeps in an ice chest. And all I could think of is. . . .

. . . man, I’m hungry. I’d like to fry up one of those bastards then dip 'em in tartar sauce.

The show is by Josh and Jonas Pate, who have earned my loyalty from their 1970s-style super-cool and super-cancelled G vs. E. But there are no afros here. They’d get all wet. Surface is a season-long monster movie. So far in the season, it’s still in the first monster-movie 15 minutes. Innocents get eaten, the heroes gather, and everyone wonders what’s going on.

(I must note the pedigree of Surface director Felix Enriquez Alcala. He directed the 1997 live-action Justice League of America pilot. This guy needs to be shown some love.)

Surface is the only one of the recent batch of sci-fi series to fully embrace its sci-fi premise. There is no sense that everything we know is wrong, like on Lost. And we get to see the beasties right away. Maybe not in full view all at once, plotting our doom from their secret undersea lair. But the quick glimpses are close enough for now.

The heroes aren’t all super-tough and capable. They’re not 100 percent likeable. They are usually the types that get killed or kidnapped, but here they’re the stars. There’s the female oceanographer who has a douchebag ex-husband who looks like Kip from Napoleon Dynamite. Her young son has to stay with Kip, Mom gets to go to the bottom of the ocean and almost get killed by a glowing dolphin or something.

Meanwhile, a damn jackass takes his brother diving off an oil rig — for fun! What’s fun about that? Obviously that guy never listened when his mom told him not to let his little brother get eaten by a sea monster, because he sure did it. Of course he’s all angsty over it, so much that he leaves his wife and babies at home to go find some answers. In another episode he returns after meeting the oceanographer chick — but he neglected to tell his wife she was a she. “I drove for hours and was gone for days and I hung out with a hot chick. What’s for supper?”

The third arc involves a normal kid in a hoity-toity rich family. The kid finds a sea monster egg, it hatches, and he keeps it. Hijinks ensue with the lizard thing causing a ruckus at his sister’s sexy pool party. But the kid, of course, takes a shine to the little fella. I’m sure his big mean cousins will come after him soon. It’s Sigmund and the Sea Monsters 2005.

“Ya gotta have friends! All ya need are friends! Friends won’t let ya down! Ya gotta have. . . .” Ahem. Sorry.

At least once an episode, there’s a short, note-perfect monster-movie scene where someone’s about to get eaten. It’s the most fun on every episode of the show. These have everything: the drunks on the boat, or the lighthouse captain who hears a strange noise. The music is of the same ilk as Jaws, with the slow build. The sound effects are wonderful, with the low rumble of something huge slicing through the water, to the Godzilla-style roar of monsters going to work. What we do see of the monsters is quick shots that cut early before your brain registers what you saw, like a bunch of Sigmunds swimming in a river of lava, or a boat becoming lunch for some big fishie. That’s good stuff.

It’s not easily laid out how the humans are going to win this one. There is no infrastructure to help them do anything. None of our heroes have jobs where they kill monsters. The oceanographer’s boss at first said, “So . . . let’s just say you saw a sea monster.” That was quick! But then he clammed up (sorry — fish reference.)

But really — must every underwater expert have a Jacques Cousteau accent? Even the real Jacques Cousteau was probably tired of his accent.

Now, the science leaves a ton to be desired. Animals are called mammals, but then they lay eggs. The story tries to pile on more science mumbo-jumbo than is needed. And then they go and get in the humans’ lives and crap. I so don’t care about that. Show me some sea monsters, then have people running a lot. Easy.

I don’t know where the story is going, and that’s a novel feeling. I doubt it’ll come down to the three stars toting harpoon guns yelling, “Chew on this, you big wet bastards!” But there’s always hope.