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What Would Godzilla Do?
Contest Hosted by Joe Crowe

Where better to look for wisdom than in the filmic works of Godzilla, so delightful in his fire-breathing and radioactivity? His roars and deeds inspire us all.

Today's Dilemma: Stress in my life is really getting to me. What can I do to relax?

What Would Godzilla Do?

He'd get a new job. Let's face it, anybody would be stressed if they had to keep going back to a city that wouldn't stay destroyed. I picture him in infomercials describing ernestly why I need another bakeware set. (collin@crosslink.net)

On a day like that, I'll go down to the local corner store, get a half-dozen Colt 45s and some papers, pick up some hos and cruise down Flatbush Avenue.  Then I'll go stomp on Tokyo and burn a phatty. (notoriouszil1234@hotmail.com)

Swat large moths. Wrestle big monkeys. In fact, take a vacation on Monster Island. But never, ever decide to go to New York. It can ruin your career.  (leissuit@aol.com)

Have you tried listening to music?  You'd be surprised at the stress-relieving capabilities of small creepy Japanese girls. (kjkearney@home.com)

Take a long drive.  Find a Rodan go down it for a Megalon time, not caring about the destination.  Ghidrah self a hobby.  I bought myself a little Gamera, and got into photography.  Have you tried talking to your Mothra about your life?   Feel good about yourself.....don't think you're some sort of monster zero. (kjkearney@home.com)

Yes, even in punnery can there be found words of wisdom. But rarely does one have the fortitude to put up with them.

Unfortunately, this question can only really be answered by you.   However, I've always found that taking a nice, relaxing bath, writing some theraputic poetry, and destroying Nipponese cities to be the best stress-relievers.  Just remember, it's all about what you personally feel comfortable with. (wren4742@hotmail.com)

Just hop in my mouth and I'll give you a nice tan... (shynicet@aol.com)

First off, of course, is a good rampage through Tokyo.  After killing most of the citizens that you can see, and then crushing most of the city, dissapear back into the sea.  Don't worry, for some reason those crazy humans will love you next time they need you to come along and kill a giant moth for doing the same thing you always do when you come to town. (see317@home.com)

"When the stress of daily expectations of burning and destroying booming asian metropolises gets me down, I find that the best way to relax is to take some time for *myself* and indulge in some of the rarities that I enjoy in life, like listening to some soothing Beethoven while relaxing on the sofa on a cool fall day while sipping at a cocktail of the blood of small Japanese children." (runewitch@hotmail.com)

Find the nearest Mothra and take it out on him. He's a good sport about that kind of thing. (ahsturgis@mindspring.com)

Spend a quite afternoon taking your winter scales out of mothra-balls before monsoon seaon kicks in. (baniszew@mit.edu)

The most useful wisdom, if wisdom could be quantified, is as follows:

Start taking yoga and destroy Tokyo. Rewallpaper his apartment in soothing colors and destroy Tokyo. Purchace stress-mannagement taps and destroy Tokyo. (collin@crosslink.net)

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