8. Using undocumented dwarven workers from Erebor to fix the
gates of Minas Tirith. (eburriss)
7. Gollum going door to door as the local "My Precious"
orc-hide thong salesman. (sclerotic_rings)
6. Aside from the occasional toasted hobbit, balrogs are much
cheaper to hire than Gandalf for your next fireworks display.
5. Simply walking into Mordor instead of taking the SUV. (shade668)
4. Slip on the One Ring to skip out on the check. (see317)
3. All mystic swords now to be reforged with 15 percent aluminum.
2. Sauron's eye has been replaced with one of those new energy-saving
coil bulbs. (randypanthegoatboy)
1. Ents make great firewood, reducing home-heating costs.