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RevolutionSF Newsblast: Afro Samurai, Shatner, Doom Patrol, Fantastic Four 2
Revolution News
© Joe Crowe
January 06, 2007

RevolutionSF Newsblast is a daring, highly-trained sci-fi news briefs list, dedicated to helping you smart-ass your way through any discussion of current Geek Nation happenings. And there's good linkage at the end. But read the other stuff before you -- dang. Lost another one.

Samurai Jackson

"He got arrows and grenades and whatnot!"

You need to watch Afro Samurai. I am witness to its niftiness. It's an anime action series with Samuel L. Jackson in it. He has a sword. It's a Spike TV series, but they have graciously put it on the so-called Internet. Enjoy it now. Thank me later.

Darth Parader

George Lucas was grand marshal of the Tournament of Roses parade, and a full legion of Stormtroopers, rebels, and assorted hangers-on marched in support of their Imperial leader. There was also an Ewok float. But I didn't see any Wookiees, and thus I declare the Tournament of Roses to be Wookist.

On NBC's parade coverage, you can marvel at the hosts' funny, abject cluelessness. My favorite part is when they call the Ewoks "adorable." At one point the male host says, simply, "Obi." I couldn't have put it better myself.

Robotman Forever

Oscar-winning screenwriter Akiva Goldsman is "hammering away" at a screenplay for a Doom Patrol, says Pages magazine. Doom Patrol is a DC comic made most known by Grant Morrison in the 1980s and 1990s. For the non-dorks, the only other place they've appeared is episodes of the Teen Titans cartoon.

Goldsman won the Oscar for A Beautiful Mind, but he also "hammered away" at Da Vinci Code, Lost in Space, and the two Schumacherian Bat-sequels who shall not be named.

Is that how he got the gig, because he wrote two other DC movies? Has no one seen them? The Doom Patrol first appeared in the 1960s. They survived accidents and got powers. Rick Klaw says, "Actually a DP film is a good idea. A series with almost no pre-conceived notions except for being very strange and whose main villain is a Brain with a talking French gorilla henchman, who happen to be the Brain's lover? Problem is that Akiva is not quirky enough to write the screenplay. Imagine someone like Charlie Kaufman writing it and directed by George Clooney (with Clooney as the voice of Robotman!). Jennifer Connelly as Elasti-Girl, Paul Giamatti as Negative Man, Sam Rockwell as Mento, and James Gandolfini as Chief."

Mark Finn says, "I'll bet you a million dollars that Goldsman writes the DP as a dysfunctional family, because they're "DC's Fantastic Four." You know, because the FF movie was such a hit."

The neatest thing about the Doom Patrol was they were not at all a happy family who gave each other hotfoots and nicknames like Stretcho. They hated each other and themselves. And that was fun.

Shat Home Alabama

Lord, Shatner's coming home to you.

William Shatner, he whose Shatneity shines upon us all, is coming to my home state. He'll appear at the U.S. Space Camp in Huntsville's anniversary event in June.

Why does this matter to you, if you aren't in Alabama? I don't care. It's Shatner. Pay homage by watching Boston Legal, or moreso by purchasing Invasion Iowa, where Shatner's Shatnition is at its height.

The event will honor folk who have gone through the rigors of Space Camp in Huntsville, and then gone on to do something meaningful with their lives. Everyone else can go to hell.

No Strength Left To Write Another Indy 4 Headline

I'm sulking until work actually begins on this. But Lucas, Spielberg, and Ford are all set to film in June 2007. David Koepp, who has written movies before, has written a script that they like. And it'll be out May 2998. That's not a typo.

Hunger Pangs

Aqua Teen Hunger Force theatrical movie. March 2007. It will make 14 dollars at the theater, yet we will all love it. Bruce Campbell and Neil Peart from Rush guest star. Rush was a band, back before I said "the kids nowadays" all the time.

Prime Time

Funny music guy Luke Ski sings "The Ballad of Optimus Prime," and there's a music video". It's a bombastic and geeky tune. It'll make you think, "That's a good music video of a funny song about Optimus Prime."

Space Invader

Witnesses at Chicago's O'Hare airport saw a "well-defined" metallic disc hovering below the cloud deck, then it took off, leaving a hole in the clouds. The AP picked up the story, but most news reports made wacky fun of it, as if our Earthly problems outweigh the scout ship of our soon to be otherworldly masters. I thought about saying that I know the names of several humans who would make healthy slave or food stock. But that might make the aliens mad at me for ripping off a Simpsons bit. Sorry, masters.

Windu Beneath My Wings

Shall the beauty of Mace Windu give us joy forever? It must, for such is the nature of wondrous things. The YTMND site noted the delicate joy of Mace Windu Uncensored. I can but pass it along.

Radd Habit

The first trailer for Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer is out, and you can watch it from the comfort of your very own bathtub. No sign of Galactus here, though. In the movie, I require that he be a giant human in purple pants. It's only right.
RevolutionSF news editor Joe Crowe wishes he could have an afro and chop people up, not necessarily in that order.

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