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RevolutionSF Newsblast: Ghost Rider, Dark Knight, Lynda Carter
Revolution News
© Joe Crowe
February 15, 2007

RevolutionSF Newsblast is a look at the news of the week in the sci-fi. Anyone found bipedal in five wears his ass for a hat!

Son, You Got A Fire On Your Skull

The director of Ghost Rider announced that it's really Nicolas Cage's skull that's on fire in that there movie.

But guess what! They didn't have to kill him!

They took an x-ray of his melon, because when they tried to whomp it up before with CGI it just didn't look right. So they used computers and they set that thing on fire. And there's your Ghost Rider.

Thank You For Two-Facing

I think I just made a pornographic verb. Look, man, I got to make it happen, I ain't got time to think about it. But Aaron Eckhart will play Harvey Dent in the Batman Begins sequel, Dark Knight. Which is nice if he actually does the Bat-movie afterward and gets to be Two-Face. Or they could screw him, like they screwed Mr. William Dee Williams, portrayor of Lando Calrissian in Batman.

Yep. It's been twelve years since Batman Forever and I'm still not over it. No justice, no peace!

I wonder if, 12 years from now, fans will say the same thing about Maggie Gylenhaal replacing Katie Holmes as Lawyer Girl.

"This will be nice if Suri Cruise gets to play Lawyer Girl in Batman Continues to Return Again . . . "

It's The Only Way To Be Sure

Sigourney Weaver will star in Jim Cameron's new movie Avatar, so the director and star of the awesome Aliens will be back together. Unfortunately, the movie will not be Aliens. But as fans have said for years, it's not a party without Bill Paxton. Surely there's room for Bill Paxton in this thing. Come on, people! Paxton!

Fourth Be With Us

Battlestar Galactica has been renewed for a fourth season. So, more chances to get Dirk Benedict a guest appearance.

Sorry. I said I was just going to let that go. Just 16,000 more episodes and it'll be on longer than Stargate SG-1! Sorry. I said I was going to let that one go, too.

Get Me Out From Under

Lynda Carter.

When she was on Wonder Woman in the 1970s, she made me think about stuff I wasn't supposed to be thinking about yet. Like aerodynamics, Greek mythology, and federal law enforcement procedure.

Now she returns to DC Comics adaptations, as Chloe's mother on Smallville. It would be best for me if they picked this episode for Chloe to be dead. Or on vacation or something.

That would really be for the best. Because if I saw my current TV crush and my really big all-time TV crush stand too near each other, I would probably explode.

The Man vs. The Mooninites

Jack Bauer, the baddest man alive, takes on the Aqua Teen Hunger Force. See, it's funny because it could really happen.

Easy Come, Easy Go

I like the He-Man. And I also like Queen. For different reasons, I think, because Queen didn't have a giant green tiger. Some enterprising soul has put together the Queen opus "Bohemian Rhapsody" with He-Man footage, and I found it rather enjoyable. Ahem, quite.

Give me that RevolutionSF senior editor Joe Crowe, you warthog from hell!

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