Every year at the Academy Awards, sci-fi films and performers get what they deserve. And this year, they were, as always, rewarded handsomely.
The Oscars dole out awards every year to the fetching and good-smelling entertainers who work so hard to enrich us. And for one night, in that auditorium, they all stop for a minute giving so selflessly of themselves to the downtrodden, and really just learn to live.
This year, Pan's Labyrinth won not once, not twice, but three times, for cinematography, art direction and makeup. Which is an excellent thing, because all the technical awards usually go to Meryl Streep.
I admit that was some directed art, but that makeup was slathered like a mother on Mr. Doug Jones, who is one top notch dude in a suit.
George Miller was finally rewarded for his work as the director of all three Mad Max movies, including, yes, Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome. However, due to a funny Oscar snafu, his trophy will say it was for a cartoon with penguins in it. Hilarious!
The visual effects winner was Pirates of the Caribbean 2, which beat the ass of the visual effects in Poseidon and Superman Returns. Up yours, boat flipping over and Superman!
An Inconvenient Truth won best documentary. It is hosted by Futurama voice actor Al Gore.
Acting awards went to Alan Arkin for his stunning work as A. Peevy Peabody in The Rocketeer. He was nominated earlier for Gattaca and Edward Scissorhands.
Sadly defeated was Eddie Murphy, who was bidding on a comeback after his dramatic TV portrayal years ago of the tragic assassination of Buckwheat.
Jennifer Hudson was thought to have not survived the popular deathmatch show American Idol, in which contestants scream at each other. Apparently however, she was merely wounded, for she won supporting actress for Dreamgirls, which is, disappointingly, not about the Legion of Superheroes member.
Helen Mirren won best actress for her stirring portrayal of Deep Thought in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
Forest Whitaker defeated the Fresh Prince, Zaltar from Supergirl, Young Hercules, and that kid from Growing Pains to win best actor.
Whitaker won, as expected, for his role as Ker in Battlefield Earth. He was also the second-most well-known host of Twilight Zone.
Sci-fi continued to thrill the nerds and dorks over there in the Academy. Someday, hopefully, weepy melodramas about miserable people will finally win something.
But not next year. 2007 at the Oscars will be all about Transformers, baby!