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Geek Gift Guide: Wedding Anniversary
Years 1 to 5: The Hot and Sweaty Years
© The Geek Gift Gurus
April 24, 2007

So you managed the impossible and convinced someone to marry you. Better yet, you have beaten the odds and made it to an anniversary. Britney Spears envies you, but that won't help you if you screw up in the gift department.

So we here at RevolutionSF have compiled the first of a series of lists of gifts for the geek couple. We have even gone as far as to scour the Internet to find places for you to buy the gifts without leaving your favorite gaming chair or having to interact with something as scary as a salesclerk.

Warning: These gifts are meant for the geek couple. If you have been unlucky, or unwise, enough to marry outside the culture, we have included the traditional suggestions as well in order to help you maintain marital harmony. And still be allowed to play City of Heroes every Wednesday night.

Enjoy your first five years.

First Anniversary

The first year is over and you can finally stop counting your monthly anniversaries. This requires an appropriate celebration of your geek love.

Traditionally you would give a paper gift for this momentous occasion, say money or a check or a membership to your favorite convention (like say, Polaris).

Or you could just buy your one true love the new Harry Potter novel.

Traditional: Paper

Modern: Clocks

Geek:

Floppy disk journals: $6.99 to $ 19.99

Seal of the Geek greeting cards: $15.95

CTU seal design notepad: $2.99

Wolfram & Hart notepad: $1.99

Second Anniversary

A couple of years have passed for the perfect couple, and you are both still in love. In all likelihood one or both of you have stopped shaving. Traditionally you would have bought your love something made of cotton, but since you both already live in your jeans we have taken our inspiration from the modern list.

Traditional: Cotton

Modern: China

Geek: Whatever your fandom, whatever your budget, there is a collector's plate out there for you.

Stargate SG-1 collector plate: $19.95

R2-D2 8-inch collector plate: $39.99

Roswell crash dinner plate: $9.99

Lord of the Rings collector plate: $39.95

Xena and Gabrielle collector plate: $19.95

And if you can't find that special Manimal plate — you know, the one where the dude turns into a panther — make your own. RevolutionSF does not endorse piracy of any kind. When The Man is watching.

Third Anniversary

The number three has been accorded a great deal of significance in Western culture. So has the collector glass in geek culture. So it makes perfect sense that we pair the two of them for your third anniversary. Why not toast to your geek love using one of our suggestions?

And if these don't rock your boat, hit the eBay or Craig's List, where you can find lots of glasses from lots of fandoms. Some of them may even not be stolen!

Now if you want to buy traditional but still be geeky, we suggest you hit your local Ren Faire or SCA meeting for gifts. But stay out of the adult store, because no matter how much Hentai you've watched, you are not that flexible.

Traditional: Leather

Modern: Crystal/glass

Geek:

Jonny Quest collector glass: $20.00

Spider-Man collector glass: $9.99

Cinderella and Prince Charming personalized set of 2 champagne flutes: $49.95

Lost Dharma rocks glass, set of 6: $22.95

Fourth Anniversary

A quartet of years have passed and some of the cheap plastic crap you got for your wedding has started to break down. Since Aunt Mathilda was too cheap to buy the extended warranty, it's time to replace it.

If you've already got all our suggestions, check out the Original Panel, a fabulous product from Spain that will allow you to turn your frontloading washing machine into a replica of The Doomsday Machine.

Imagine what the maid will say!

Traditional: Fruit/flowers

Modern: Appliances

Geek:

Star Wars R2-D2 projector with DVD Player and iPod dock (comes with a Millenium Falcon remote): $3,928.13

And soon you can buy Tie-Fighter Speakers.

And someone built a custom Death Star Sub-Woofer.

R2-D2 trash can: $150

XP3 programmable message clock: $59.99

X-Men Wolverine phone: $59.99

Fifth Anniversary

Half a decade has gone by. The person you crawl into bed with at night still makes your heart skip a beat, whether due to love or fear. Maybe a little bit of both, and that's not a bad thing.

The traditional list would have you buy something out of wood, but that is really not geeky enough. Instead we turn again to the modern list for inspiration, and one of these would make a wonderfully geeky addition to any table.

Traditional: Wood

Modern: Silver

Geek:

Mickey Mouse 20-piece flatware set: $24.99

Stainless steel wrenchware set, 3-piece: $17.99

Wenger giant Swiss army knife v. 1.0: $1,200.00

Doctor Who Dalek bottle opener: $16.99

Spider-Man dinner spoon and fork: $6.99

Of course you might want to protect that table from the third anniversary's glassware. For that we suggest a high-tech horizontal beverage containment device, otherwise known as the coaster.

The Geek Gift Gurus are here to help. If you have a question about what to buy for a certain relative or event, please contact us at subspace@revolutionsf.com.

 
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