The real-life exploits of the Caucasian rap impresario Vanilla Ice are well-known.
And purchased by many of us on cassette.
But we are not on trial here!
In the 1991 epic Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze, Vanilla Ice performed in a rundown club, then
a battle broke out between the Turtles and their foes.
Did he stop? No, he just drove by.
More accurately, he invented rap lyrics on the spot about a snapshot of his life. At that moment,
it involved playing his funky music amid a fight between six mutated animals who performed martial artistry.
The musical piece in question: "Ninja Rap."
Have you ever seen a ninja get down? No. You have not.
So here is the music video for the thing. Let us enjoy it together.
His mad skillz place him in the Lameassery, notwithstanding his excellent popping and locking.
He violates the sanctity of ninja by rapping about it, resulting in one less reason to fear ninjas.
As a group, they remain upset, which makes them more likely to garrote and/or sweep-kick anyone for no reason. Thanks for that, Mr. Ice.