Dragon Wars (D-War) (Sept. 14)
This is about two dragon armies fightin'! How can that be a bad thing? Outside of obtaining real dragons, using the CGI to whomp some up is our only way to see dragon armies fightin', so I'm all for it.
It's very possible that I will love this movie. And that it will be terrible.
Resident Evil Extinction (Sept. 21)
New director: Russell Mulcahy. The guy who directed The Shadow.. It had Taylor Dayne on the soundtrack!
He also directed Highlander 2: The Quickening, which did not exist. I deny that it ever was. So he's 50/50 on movies that I accept as having really happened.
This one has Ali Larter from Heroes. And bringing the video game movie adaptation genre full circle, Linden Ashby, Johnny Cage from Mortal Kombat.
The Seeker: The Dark Is Rising (Oct. 5)
RevSF staff writer Gary Michel calls this The Dark Is Sucking.. There's a list of the changes from the books to the movies, and it's not pretty. See, the idea behind adapting a book is to make the movie kind of similar.
Hitman (Oct. 12)
A movie about the video game where you run around and shoot stuff. But will they show people falling off cliffs in slow-motion?
Also, it changed release dates at the very moment I was writing this story.
30 Days of Night (Oct. 19)
Good comic book. Good vampires. I'm in.
Nightmare Before Christmas in 3-D (Oct. 19)
I saw this in 3-D already. But then, I was in college.
Sarah Landon and the Paranormal Hour (Oct. 26)
First in a series, the movie's site says. Wishful thinking, is what I say. But it does have a teenage girl and a haunted house, if that's your thing.
Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium (Nov. 16)
I liked it when it was about candy and called Willy Wonka.. This is about toys, and it doesn't have crazy-ass Johnny Depp. It has sane-ass Dustin Hoffman. I'm all for him being in movies where no one cries.
Beowulf (Nov. 16)
The freaky animation in Polar Express weirded me out. It's hard to concentrate on the holiday spirit when the voice of Tom Hanks is coming out of some googly-eyed abomination.
I fear this will be like that, but with an action flick.
Stephen King's The Mist (Nov. 21)
A cast of dozens, including the former Punisher Thomas Jane, and Electro-Gwen from Angel, Alexa Davalos. It has monsters who come out when a mist falls on a town. If only they put gorillas in it.
The Golden Compass (Dec. 7)
Fightin' polar bears. That sounds awesome.
I Am Legend (Dec. 14)
Fresh Prince vs. zombies!
Will Smith, the poor guy, will never, ever not be called Fresh Prince by me.
Alvin and the Chipmunks (Dec. 14)
This one has Jason Lee as Dave the human, and, I'm sure, the ear-shattering songs that rocked our Saturday mornings in the 80s.
It has real-life real-life, not-CGI not-cartoon guy-in-rubber-suit chipmunks. It's like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in reverse.
I saw Alvin, Simon, and Theodore. To gaze into their unseeing orbs is to know mortal terror.
National Treasure: Book of Secrets (Dec. 21)
I really liked the first one. No, seriously. It was an old-timey adventure flick. I reckon this one may be like that.
The Water Horse: Legend of the Deep (Dec. 25)
This is about a baby dinosaur. It sounds exactly like Baby: The Lost Legend. In 1985, that had William Katt, Patrick McGoohan, and Sean Young. What you got, Water Horse?
Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (Dec. 25)
You know who's really excited about going to see this movie? Jesus.