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© KaosDevice
December 31, 2007

My minions! Do not countermand my orders! Exact them as I instruct.

Lower the heroes into the lava pit on a rope in the slowest manner possible. I only want, max two minions there for this detail. Easy peasy.

No? OK. Push them into the alligator pit. And cover them with bacon. Again this should be a max two-minion job.

What? You are kidding me! Put them next to the neutronium infuserator and put them in those shiny radiation drawing jumpsuits.

Put three minions on them. This is getting old.

Oh, for what . . .

Seriously? Round them all up and into the lava pit. Look, I am sick of this.

I don't care if some torn shirt, bronze, tanned jackass shows up. Shoot him in the face.

Look, I know you guys are union But this is just stupid.

They got away from lava in a volcano secret base? Round them up and bring them back to the torture circle.

It was in your new hire handbooks!

Yes, yes I know, thanks for getting them again.

I agree that just shooting them right now would be a good idea. But according to the rules we have to use the next trap involving buzz saws.

OK. OK, Jeff can wear the cut proof gloves.

Stupid unions.

NO WAY! How does a bullwhip interfere with the workings of a buzzsaw?

You have them again? Alright, screw rules. Shoot all of them in the head and dump them in the lava.

Then I want a Corona in my hot tub before I trigger the Armageddon Device.

No olives. Cocktail onions!

KaosDevice exacts his revenge with the RevolutionSF blog Heart of the Machine.

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