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Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade Sucks / Rocks
© Jason Myers, Deanna Toxopeus
May 23, 2008

They got us. Here are the best and worst things about The Last Crusade.

Last Crusade Sucks

In the catacombs, under the library, Indy soaks a burial cloth in petroleum-infused water to make a torch. Afterwards, as they carelessly splash through the oily water, the torch constantly drips flame that by some miracle doesn’t set anything on fire. But then Kazim tosses a single match in, and the whole place becomes a giant fireball. -- movie editor Jason Myers

Brody says, “Don’t you see? The pen is mightier than the sword.” Yes, it’s supposed to be a bad joke. But even as a purposely bad joke, it’s still a bad joke. -- movie editor Jason Myers

How does being a penitent man help with that second blade that comes up from the middle of the floor? -- movie editor Jason Myers

Last Crusade Rocks

Seeing how Indiana Jones got the scar on his chin. It’s a nice, understated moment that always makes me smile. Of course, the fact that the movie also gives the origin for his fedora and his fear of snakes all in one 11 minute “young Indiana Jones” sequence pushes things into SUCKS territory for some people. I can understand that, if not muster up much outrage about it. Still, the scar. Nice touch. -- Jason Myers

Petra. Nice use of a fascinating archeological site for a movie setting. -- Deanna Toxopeus

Sean Connery as Henry Jones. Without sidekicks to play off of, Indiana Jones would have little to do except rub his stubble and bruise his knuckles on endless villain chin. And Henry Jones is easily the best sidekick of the lot. Part of what makes him so great is how much Sean Connery plays against type. I mean, when you hear that James Bond is gonna play Indiana Jones’ father, you think he’s gonna be beating up the Nazis right next to Harrison Ford.

But Henry Jones is actually stuffy, crusty, fussy, prissy, and lots of other words ending in “y” that Americans use to describe the British. The interactions between Indiana and his father provide the funniest moments in The Last Crusade, as well as the most powerful ones. The looks that they give each other during the motorcycle sidecar chase sequence are beyond priceless.

Their bickering veers so close to a Hope-Crosby road movie that it shouldn’t work, but it does. Perfectly. There are countless brilliant moments, but it’s hard to beat the biplane sequence. They’re being fired on, Henry mans the machine gun, and, unnoticed by Indy, manages to blow off their own tail fin, crippling their plane. He turns to Indy and deadpans. “Son, I’m sorry. They got us.” -- Jason Myers

“He chose . . . poorly.” Best understatement ever. -- Jason Myers

RevolutionSF is intolerable! Countdown to Indy 4 / Raiders of the Lost Ark / Temple of Doom / Crystal Skull

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