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Trailer Probe : Outlander, Max Payne
© Joe Crowe
July 13, 2008

Movies of geekity interest should be only two minutes long. Trailers make us laugh. They make us cry. They work so hard to make us happy.

Trailer Probe rates the geek explosion content, how much our cortex is combusted with a volley of geekitude and dork disengagement level is reasons you won't spaz about it.

Outlander

Reason to watch: Jesus and Vikings vs. a space dragon. Jesus and Vikings vs. a space dragon!

It has no U.S. release date yet, which makes me want it more.

Outlander stars Jim Caviezel and Hellboy father and son John Hurt and Ron Perlman. The first battle in the trailer looks like Beastmaster In other words, awesome.

Dork disengagement level: It's probably one of those direct to Sci Fi Channel-style quickies with Etch-A-Sketch effects. It's really not a wonderful day, said Eeyore.

Geek parts per million: 1 million. Jesus and Ron Perlman hunt a space dragon! I wrote this movie when I was seven.

Max Payne

Dork disengagement level: Kind of looks like every other shooting-while-falling in slo-mo action flick.

It's this Max Payne, not this one. Unfortunately.

Reason to watch: Because Marky Mark says Max is "one of the edgier roles I've played, and the most layered."

It has Ludacris and Beau Bridges, together again.

It's a neat-looking Death Wish update, with guns, things blowing up, and is that an almost nekkid lady in that trailer? More trailers should have those.

Making us feel the rhythm is Mr. Wahlberg's occupation.

Geek parts per million: 600,000 geek parts per million.



 
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