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Sci-Fi TV Not Canceled Yet 2008 : When The New Shows Start
© Joe Crowe
September 17, 2008

Ah, fall. The leaves begin to change. The weather dips back into the lower triple digits. The icecaps stop melting so fast. And new sci-fi TV shows start the path toward miraculous success or convention bootleg tables.

Here is when you can see the new shows that are scheduled right now, so you can't see Dollhouse yet.

Ladies and gentlemen, start your DVRs. And get ideas for stuff from the shows to mail in bulk to the networks in protest when it gets canceled.

Crusoe (NBC)

Premise: Like Lost, but with only one guy.

Starts: Oct. 17.

Thing to mail to network when it's canceled: Copies of the book and the DVD of the Dick Van Dyke movie Robin Crusoe, delivered by Gilligan.

Eleventh Hour (CBS)

Premise: Crazy science investigators, just like the BBC one, but with Americans. Also just like Fringe, but with other Americans, except for the blonde Fringe lady is Australian. But anyways.

Starts: October 9

Thing to mail to network when it's canceled: Genuine Rolex watches, set to 11. Look, do you want to save the show or not?

Fringe (Fox)

Premise: The X-Files with Pacey, Denethor, and the scary death guy who visited Hurley in the sanitarium on Lost.

Starts: Two episodes ago. Sorry I'm late, nurse!

Thing to mail to network when it's canceled: Fringe. Pants from the 1970s not required. (They might think you want them to renew Brady Bunch. Which you do, but that's not important now.

Knight Rider (NBC)

Premise: Dude. Knight Rider.

Starts: September 24

Thing to mail to network when it's canceled: Your lost innocence. (unless you mailed that last year when Bionic Woman came on.)

Legend of the Seeker (syndicated)

Premise:/b> Fantasy sword fighting and magic stuff.

Starts: November 1.

Thing to mail to network when it's canceled: 20-sided dice. But not the pretty ones, which you should keep for yourself.

Life on Mars (ABC)

Premise: Just like the BBC one, but with Americans and Harvey Keitel.

Starts: October 9

Thing to mail to network when it's canceled: Mars candy bars! Won't that be clever? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

My Own Worst Enemy (NBC)

Premise: Christian Slater is a creepy looking secret agent, and in a split personality a creepy looking suburban dad.

Starts: October 13

Thing to mail to network when it's canceled: Christian Slater

Sanctuary (Sci Fi)

Premise: Amanda Tapping from Stargate SG-1 rescues sci-fi monsters for a zoo. I think.

Starts: Oct. 3.

Thing to mail to network when it's canceled: A hunchback. See, because the Hunchback of Notre Dame said "Sanctuary!" Look, just mail them a hunchback.

Spaceballs: The Animated Series (G4)

Premise: A cartoon based on the movie, with Mel Brooks, Joan Rivers, and Daphne Zuniga from the movie. Found anything yet?

Starts: September 21 on G4

Thing to mail to network when it's canceled: A shitload of money.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars (Cartoon Network)

Premise: Star Wars. The Clone Wars.

Starts: Oct. 3.

Thing to mail to network when it's canceled: That's not going to happen. But send them Wampa or Ugnaught action figures. At least, it'll clear off your desk a little.

True Blood (HBO)

Premise: Vampires.

Starts: Two episodes ago. Sorry again.

Thing to mail to network when it's canceled: The blood of an innocent. And lots of it. That'll show them.

Valentine (CW)

Premise: Aphrodite, the goddess of love, helps humans find it. Includes other Greek gods Ares and Eros.

Starts: Sept. 21.

Thing to mail to network when it's canceled: Do not send Valentines. They will think you love them. Which would be cruel. Instead, send Greek-style hummus, because I bet that stuff smells excellent after it's been unrefrigerated in a mail truck for a few days.

Whale Wars (Animal Planet)

Premise: Never mind. It's not what the title sounds like.


RevolutionSF senior editor Joe Crowe invites you to look again at the guy in the beret in the sidebar picture. That is Hercules. Contemplate him.

 
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