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Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter Drinking Game
© Deanna Toxopeus
September 19, 2008

In the midst of reading the Anita Blake book Blood Noir, I tried to explain to a friend the series. As I delved deeper and deeper into the backstory, and tried to ignore my friend's hysterical laughter, I realized how full of cliches my description was. But, I thought, it's what the series is about. That's when it struck me. It needs a drinking game.

The next time you need a girl's night in, crack open your favorite booze (in my case Glen Breton from Glenora Distilleries) and enjoy the travesty this series has become.

When Anita

-- wonders if she is a slut: Take a drink

-- Questions her sexual preference/ lifestyle: Take a drink

-- Accepts her sexual preference/ lifestyle: Take two drinks

-- has sex: take a drink for each partner involved.

-- has a partner that changes into something else during sex (like a werewolf) : Take two drinks

-- has a partner that is female: take three drinks

-- has a partner that is just human: drink the whole bottle

-- has sex under the influence of the Ardeur: Take a drink

-- has sex when no Ardeur is involved: Take two drinks

When the sex

-- lasts a chapter : Take a drink

-- lasts more than a chapter : Take a drink for each additional chapter involved

When someone

-- compliments Anita on her sexual prowess: Take a drink.

-- Says Anita is a good lay: Take a drink

When sex with Anita involves

-- bondage : Take a drink

-- water : Take a drink

-- silk sheets : Take a drink

-- Anita waxing poetic in her mind about how much she enjoys any part of sex : Take a drink

When

-- someone does not believe Anita is a marshal : Take a drink

-- Anita gets all up in that person's face about her being a marshal : Take a drink

-- Anita gets all up in that person's face about them not believing she is a marshal : Take a drink

-- Anita gains the respect of the person who questioned her after the talk : Take a drink

-- Anita gains the respect of the person who questioned her after the talk and they are a thug/ police/ security person : Take a drink

When

-- the triumvirate between Jean-Claude, Richard and Anita is mentioned : Take a drink

-- one member of the triumvirate senses something is wrong with one of the other members : Take a drink

-- one of the members is able to draw power from the others : Take a drink

-- one of the members is able to draw power from the others during sex : Take two drinks

-- one of the triumvirate members knows when one of the others is having sex : Take three drinks

When

-- the triumvirate between Anita, Damien and Nathaniel is mentioned : Take a drink

-- Anita is referred to as a living vampire : Take a drink

-- Anita raises a zombie after book 10 : Take a drink

-- Anita is employed by the authorities to hunt down a rogue vampire after book 10 : Take a drink

When Jean-Claude

-- calls Anita chere -- Take a drink

-- uses French : Take a drink

-- is referred to as the master vampire of St. Louis : Take a drink

-- is looked at lustfully by someone : Take a drink

-- refers to the wolf as his animal to call : Take a drink

When Richard

-- has a fit about Anita and her sex life : Take a drink

-- tells Anita he loves her : Take two drinks

-- tells Anita he loves her but will only be with her if she commits to him only : Take two drinks

-- accepts what Anita is and moves on : Finish the bottle and then the rest of the case, because it ain't ever going to happen.


RevolutionSF staff writer Deanna Toxopeus is writer of Ubalblog, where she sometimes talks about books that don't require drinking. Sometimes.

 
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