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Trailer Probe : Terminator Salvation
© Joe Crowe
December 11, 2008

Items of geekity interest should be only two minutes long, because trailers make us laugh. They make us cry. They work so hard to make us happy.

Trailer Probe rates the geek explosion content, how much our cortex is combusted with a volley of geekitude, and dork disengagement level is reasons you won't dig it.

Terminator Salvation

Geek explosion content: "This is not the future my mother warned me about." -- John Connor

Whoo whoo! Christian Bale does the loud-whisper Batman voice.

The tank rolling over human skulls! Just like in Terminator 2! I need to sit down.

This trailer provides a treasure trove of quotable joy. Here's one more:

"You and me have been at war since before either of us even existed." -- John Connor

Christian Bale is excellent. Here he does the excellence with more than his nose and chin showing like in Batman.

The surprise at the end of the trailer made me say "Holy Poopy-Doopy!" That's the word I pretend I said in case my mom reads this.

Dork disengagement level: I remember when sequels had numbers, not three or four syllable drama-words.

John Connor says, "This ends tonight." We already know they plan a trilogy of John Connor Terminator movies, so I bet that doesn't end well.

"Something has changed."

Time travel plotlines! Oh noze! The Terminator movies dodged the time travel mumbo-jumbo by having them show up and fight and fight and fight. Time travel will make the whole thing all nut-bonkers.

The debate scene with a Terminator would be cooler if it was the governor of California. I guess that's what they're going for there.

Why is there no Kaylee from Firefly? This movie is a Firefly hater.

Terminator is a TV show. We should not pay money to watch a movie about a TV show unless it has 45-year-old women talking about their lady business.

Geek explosion level: 800,000. Christian Bale gives us the hard-sell in the trailer, and I'm in. The thing at the end is a nice bonus.

And no, it's not a cameo by his daddy Michael Biehn from the first movie. Still no love for the Biehn.

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