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Christmas Countdown : Funnest Christmas List Ever, #30-21
© Joe Crowe
December 24, 2008

The same sappy, unstoppable standards of holiday music are everywhere, every year. They play in your office as you try to avoid working; at every shop in which you battle crowds, and at every Christmas party where you try to chug egg nog in heavenly peace. It's the same crusty old chestnuts every year; the same old carols, and the same old jingle bells not at all rocking around the tree.

RevolutionSF has gathered here the best list ever of unique and fun Christmas songs and videos. You will like them unless you are a damned soulless automaton.

30. "I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus" by Kip Addotta. In this parody of "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus," a kid ventures downstairs on Christmas Eve, but gets such an eyeful he spends the rest of the song trying to wrap his head around it.

29. "Father Christmas" by The Kinks. A robber demands "Father Christmas! Gimme some money!" He also wants a machine gun. This is about remembering how fortunate you are. Especially if your kids don't ask for machine guns.

28. "Elf's Lament," by Barenaked Ladies. We love the Barenaked Ladies. See, it's funny because they aren't naked or ladies.

27. "Mrs. Claus" by Bob Ricci. Remember Fountains of Wayne's "Stacy's Mom," about a kid's crush on his friend's hot mom? Now replace the mom with the right jolly old elf's wife. Sorry for the mental image.

26. The Bonanza Christmas Album. The Cartwright family gathered to warm themselves around the map that was on fire. From the sound of it, their chef Hop Sing brewed up a big batch of Wild West egg nog for the occasion. 25. "Christmas Is My Time Of Year," by The Monkees. That guy Paul from that other group claims he's "simply having a wonderful Christmas time." But that song is melancholy. Peter, Davy, Mickey, and Mike truly are having a wonderful Christmas time. You can tell by the tambourines.

24. "Christmas in Las Vegas" by Richard Cheese. Cheese isn't just his name; it's his job. The lounge singer / comedian also covers the 80s classic "Do They Know It's Christmas" on his CD Silent Nightclub.

23. "Nuttin' For Christmas" by Stan Freberg.  The kid in this song isn't of the usual sentimental variety. He sings, "I broke my bat on Tommy's head. Somebody snitched on me."  Freberg also did Green Christmas, a sketch and song chastising commercialism. Up yours, commercialism!

22. "Who Put The Stump?" by Bob Rivers and Twisted Radio. In this one, an ornament angel stuck atop a tree laments her fate, and the discomfort therein. "The pine tree needles sting. You'll never know how much that smarts." And you'll never again ram the angel onto the top of your tree without wincing.

21.  "Yellin' At the Christmas Tree" by Billy Idol. Not an impersonator or cover artist. It's really Billy Idol, the 1980s-vintage yeller from "Dancing With Myself" and "Eyes Without A Face" rocks the cradle at Christmas. Sample lyric: "Mommy's hips are wiggling." Maybe we don't need to see a video of this one.

Now enjoy #20-12 and #11-1 unless you want on the naughty list, and not in a good way.

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