"You and I are so smart." -- Rick Marshall to Enik
On my way to see the Land of the Lost movie, I got a root canal. I can say the following with no hyperbole: Land of the Lost is much better than a root canal.
You might say that being on the nitrous from the dentist is the only reason I liked this movie. You would be incorrect. They did not let me take the delightful, bewitching fog of pain-killing gas with me when I left the dentist office.
I loved the TV show. I played it in my backyard. Sure, it looks cheesy and scorn-worthy when you watch it today. But so does everything from your childhood if you are a stick in the mud.
I like Will Ferrell. He makes silly-ass comedy movies. Talladega Nights and especially Step Brothers have a joke-per-minute ratio that is off the charts.
Not so good parts: Will Ferrell trots out his Greatest Hits, the things he always does; he removes his shirt; he sings.
There are lame poop and sex references. They're not necessary. Not because I'm a prude, but because they're not funny.
I wanted original cast cameos. The actors who played Will, Holly, and Chaka did commentaries on the DVDs, and they were very fun. That's why you do remakes, people! Cameos! I demand nerdy cameos!
Good parts: Most remakes pick a few things to remake from the original's plots, characters, and items. This movie has all of them. Granted, the TV show only had seven or eight things.
There are no cameos, but check out who is in it: Mr. Leonard Nimoy. First Star Trek, now this is two TV show movies in a row. I want him in every TV show movie. He would be awesome as Sophia in a Golden Girls remake.
The movie doesn't try for a real Jurassic Park look. It looks like a set from the TV series, if they had a bazillion dollars. Here it's appropriate, unlike in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
The Sleestak steal the movie. When Enik the smart Sleestak appears, the movie turns abruptly from dinosaur jokes into outrageous goofiness. That's when the movie veered dangerously close to awesome.
The finale action sequence gets there. The cast gets in a Katie-bar-the-door pier six brawl against the Sleestak. Anna Friel from Pushing Daisies fights with a belt rolled around her fist. That is excellent.
The fight combines comedy and action like a barroom fight in a Burt Reynolds movie combined with a Lord of the Rings army battle.
My mind would be blown if the entire movie was like those few minutes. Unfortunately, the Sleestak cannot be in every movie.