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Subspace : Enterprise = Good, Shane and Kevin = Idiots
Hosted by Rick Klaw

A lot of mail about the new the new Trek, anti-idiots, and Cthulhu.

So let's get to it…

Subject: Reviews by Kevin Pezzano and Shane Ivey

Their remarks about gratuitous sex scenes are idiotic. Was there EVER a TOS episode that didn't feature either Kirk without a shirt or a scantily clad alien?

Personally, I liked the gel scene, and I wouldn't mind seeing more scenes like that. I'm sure Pezzano and Ivey liked it, too. They just won't admit it. PC run amok. Seriously, if you have a problem with gratuitous scenes, why no mention of the gratuitous violent scenes? Killing is OK, but nice bodies aren't?

Oh, by the way, Pezzano. I don't like the term "cracker". It's insulting to Southerners. (reedg@cetlink.net)

Not to knock my fellow editors, but I agree with reedg. I liked the gel scene. It was nice to see characters interacting as though intimate contact was no big deal. I would much rather see scenes like that than another shot of someone being blow away. Besides, my wife (who is fond of wearing a T-shirt that says THIS IS WHAT A FEMINIST LOOKS LIKE) thought the scene wasn't objectifying or gratuitous. And she is a life long Trekkie.

But I do think reedg is being a tad sensitive about the whole cracker thing. You need to let it all flow off ya. Grab yourself a bottle of mom's 'shine, a moon pie, and sit on the backporch watching the flies go by. Then everything should be just fine.

At least that's how we do it here in Texas.

Subject: T'Pol

I was immediately hooked by the new series, "Enterprise," by its opening theme and by the in-your-face performance…

STOP! Hold on. You liked the opening theme? Did you watch it with the volume on? Are you stuck in the 80's? The bad musical part of the 80's? Hold on a sec. I need to get something to drink. Something strong. You liked it? Sheesh. Go figure.

For the sanity of Revolutionaries everywhere, I'm going to pretend your opening sentence went like this:

I was immediately hooked by the new series, "Enterprise," by the in-your-face performance of Scott Bakula who clearly is the predecessor of Captain Kirk, without the established protocols and nuances of the Federation, trying to figure out everything moment by moment, utilizing his gut instinct, his knowledge, and following his expectations as an explorer ready to rock and roll. He conveys someone who could take on Kirk moment for moment because like Captain Christopher Pike he knows how uncertain and dangerous the universe is. It produces a dominating, judgemental species like Vulcans as well as the others that he has already had to meet. Kirk may have the finesse and diplomatic wherewithal of the support of the Federation, whereas Archer is out on his own, backed only by Starfleet. A comfortable fit.

T'Pol, on the other hand, is totally confusing. Spock, for all of his distant observations and at times unnerving grip on logic at the expense of innovation and originality, presented a persona of strict personal discipline and privacy. His sexual side was extremely unsettling to him. And if he is the Vulcan standard, T'Pol's hard nippled exchange with a human where she thinks nothing of rubbing her breast with goo and exposing herself to the human seems totally out of Vulcan character to me and once again Rick Berman's attempt to kick Roddenberry in the teeth as he did when he killed off Captain Kirk. Berman's momentary irreverence for Roddenberry territory and attempts at making his own footprint stick irks me more than anything else. It also makes Vulcans out to be not nearly as mysterious or mystical as they have been. I just don't see Spock hanging out with a woman and rubbing himself down like that. Nor Tuvock. Vulcans are clearly isolationists who regard themselves as logical mentors of the galaxy. They want to be helpful but not at the expense of their Vulcan ways or better judgement. Upon first meetings I sincerely doubt they are ready to become "one of the gang" the way T'Pol behaved in that first episode. My reaction was : a Vulcan would never behave like this. Certainly Blalock is very attractive and fun to look at but as a Vulcan she has her own mysticism to follow. Berman and Braga obviously saw the scene as an opportunity to jack up attention and ratings, not to mention stretch the limitations of the Vulcan character and get a good look at Blalock. But is that the best they could have done? They seem compelled to include Vulcans but totally inane at making them the interesting characters that they really are. I am convinced now more than ever that Leonard Nimoy's battles were well fought as he clearly established a true alien. T'Pol shows no mysticism or mystery to herself whatsoever. Tuvock, at least, conveyed that Vulcan distance and discipline. The only excuse I can think of for T'Pol's behavior is that she has so little respect for humans that being around them is not unlike being around that dog she didn't care for. (Beersjr@hotmail.com)

And yet you liked the show. Trekkies (or Trekkers or whatever they call themselves these days) confuse the pee-wadden out of me. They will diss a show. Analyze it to death. Find every stinkin' little error. And yet, they still manage to watch every frillen episode. Hell, most everyone bitched about Voyager, yet it went on for seven years. If you don't like something, don't watch it. There are plenty of other fine SF shows about. Or try a book or something.

BTW, before the flames come and Roddenberry strikes me dead, I am what you call a casual Trekkie. I will watch it when it is on. I'll even tape it to watch later, but I don't remember all the historical minutiae or feel the need to see every stinkin' show. I've seen all the movies on their first runs and all of TOS and Next Generation. I enjoyed Enterprise. And I will continue to watch it until it becomes like Voyager (yawn).

Subject: Enterprise "wormholes"

The reason the ship in "Enterprise" *seems* more modern than the one from TOS is because the effects weren't as sophisticated back then. Cheesier stuff just looks older -- they couldn't give it as much detail.

Don't worry, I'm no die hard trekkie defending anything, but that's what I think nonetheless after watching the premiere. (sculder@home.com)

I think this deserves a big ole DUH! And I pray that they don't try some lame old time travel story to explain why it looks newer. One hopes that people have better imaginations than that.

Subject: Gundammit

I wrote a really long message and it disappeared. Alas I'm lazy with a bad memory, so nevermind. (kabaian@yahoo.co.uk)

I hope it was a truthful and well thought out as this:

Subject: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! (Ha.ha.ha.ha.ha.ha.ha.ha.ha.ha.ha!@revolutionsf.com)

Course this could apply to the idiots that sent hate mail to Kenn. I think this transmission from anti-idiot1234 speaks for all of us.

Subject: Re: Anti-Arab Idiots

Oh brother, you didn't REALLY get that much flame-mail regarding that column did you?

What a waste of space.

Evidently, we're going to see more of that (like that idiot I saw on the freeway yesterday that had spray-painted HIS OWN CAR- and badly, I might add- the words "USA 1").

Nope, intolerance is no fun, and unfortunately, they're the loudest voices right now. Maybe people will calm down after the body bags start coming back from Kabul, but what a price to pay for that one. (anti-idiot1234@hotmail.com)

Here at RevolutionSF, we believe in the right to express ourselves, freely and honestly, but people use your heads. The best way to lose our freedom of expression is to misuse this right by harming the innocent and defenseless. The events of 9-11 were horrible, but to attack an entire race and/or religion will not make it better. A majority of Arabs and Muslims condemn the terrorist actions and were as horrified as the rest of us.

Now back to our regularly scheduled subspace.

Subject: Whoo-Hoo! I'm famous, kinda . . .

I was reading the 2001 Dragon*Con report, and lo and behold, there I am! I'm famous! Well, not really _famous_, but at least a bunch of people I don't know have now seen my name! I can't believe that you guys have to wonder why you have fans.

It was fun talking to you guys and being overcharged for chocolate sticks, being treated rudely by waitstaff and learning the correct pronunciation of LamASSary.

Also, watched Enterprise tonight, and I do have to say I share the hopeful optimisim about it. It was good, and after the suckfest of Voyager the bar is pretty low right now. Let's hope they keep raising it. (sneezythesquid@yahoo.com)

Sneezy, ole pal. there is no kinda about it… Once you've been sighted with the RevolutionSF crew, you are made in the shade. Imagine a world where you are recognized on the street, never have money worries, and have all the sex you can stand.

Nice dream, ain't it. Sorry, time to open your eyes. Welcome back to the REAL world.

And we have fans?!?!?

Subject: Need some fuel for the Episode 1 debate

Dear All -

I'm involved in a modest feud with a fellow sci-fi individual who insists upon adoration for Ep1. I need some ideas to form into a well-thought-out-complete-and-total-rebuttal that will end in him begging for mercy.

Thoughts? (calthrop@hotmail.com)

Yeah, your friend is an idiot. Guess that won't really help much will it? How this? In one fell swoop Lucas has destroyed almost everything of meaning from the original Star Wars saga. For starters, he has changed the Jedi Knights from a group that anyone with enough training and hard work could join to an elite organization for individuals born with a certain cell or gene. Talk about destroying the childhood dreams of millions of people.

Or how about the fact that it now appears that the Empire has had three Death Stars destroyed by Skywalkers. One would think after the first two destructions by the time of Return of the Jedi, they would have given up building Death Stars while a Skywalker lived.

And let's not even start in on Jar-Jar Binks. I thought the Ewoks had no redeeming value. At least they were cute in a harmless non-degrading sort of way.

I could go on all day. I haven't even touched upon the snail-like pacing of the story with all its inane fight scenes and awful dialogue. People will be writing dissertations on this mess for years to come.

Subject: Slaves and leather (-bound books)

"Now that the slave is hooked up, I can put stuff in the slave, but it still won't do what I tell it to. What's up with that?"

Damned uppity slaves. Don't you just hate that? When all else fails, electricity works wonders.

I'm here to share a simple truism: I *hate* being broke. Chaosium is releasing the 20th anniversary edition of the CoC rulesbook, bound in leather with the elder sign imprinted in holographic red foil on the front, and the pages are in journal-style "aged" paper with crimson red ink. It's $80.

And Laura is still trying to find a part time job while she's in college.

Having said that, if there are copies still available once I -do- get that lovely part time job, one of those limited edition books WILL BE MINE.


If they're not already gone by then. Wish me luck. (runewitch@hotmail.com)

Runewitch, you could rely on luck or you could start up a fundraising campaign. I could see it now, little Cthulhu images all over the place. For each click through $1 would be donated to the Runewitch Limited Edition Fund. Can you really think of a more worthy cause?

Or you could take up bank robbing. (I can see you in court now. "Ms. Witch, why did you rob banks?" "Well, your honor, I just had to have the Call of Cthulhu limited edition bound in leather with the elder sign imprinted in holographic red foil on the front.")

Even better yet, put your slaves to work. You should have that $80 in no time.

Once again, I've managed to waste some perfectly good bandwith. To see how I play nice with the bandwith checkout the RevolutionSF fiction. It all begins with a little meeting with Death.

Till my turn comes again…

I continue to be Rick Klaw, your lovable RevolutionSF fiction editor.

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