I ask today that the court consider the case in which everybody went link-crazy
for a guy who changed his name to something long and super-nerdy.
Julius Andreas Gimli Arn MacGyver Chewbacka Highlander Elessar-Jankov wanted to see how long he could make his name. That's pretty neat.
But he misspelled Chewbacca's name.
That's a lot of trouble to go through, what with the name change, getting all new licenses, cards and passports, only to misspell the name of the best Star Wars character.
That's right, Boba Fett: the best. Fett fans would be irritated too, if the guy changed his name to Boba Fet.
If he's nerdy enough to add names from Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Highlander, and MacGyver to his own name, then he should be nerdy enough to spell them correctly.
I recognize that it's only one letter wrong, a "k" instead of a second "c." But the name is clearly spelled in the credits of Chewbacca's very first appearance in Star Wars. And all his other appearances.
In this story, some may see a benign dork who aims to express his nerdiness.
I see someone who apparently can not take a half second to Google to make sure he spells his new names right.
I also see yet another attempt to undermine the Wookiee. Chewie got no medal from Leia in New Hope, and now some dude changes his own name to honor that character, but does not spell it right.
I insist that the guy do all the paperwork again to fix it. If I changed my name, but accidentally misspelled the new one, I would do the paperwork again, because it would drive me nut-bonkers until I did.
But wait, prosecutor, some might ask: The report says Mr. Elessar-Jankov spent years pushing the paperwork through to get his new name.
I humbly respond. What is more important: the inconvenience of paperwork, or supporting the Wookiee?
The prosecution rests. May the Wookiee yelp in freedom. Peace to our shag-covered brothers and sisters.