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Blair Witch 2 : Book of Shadows
Reviewed by Joe Crowe, © 2010

Format: Movie
By:   Not the Blair Witch Project guys
Genre:   Horror (kind of)
Review Date:   January 25, 2010
RevSF Rating:   2/10 (What Is This?)

I did not see a Book of Shadows anywhere in Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows. There were no books that could have been a Book of Shadows. No book played a part in the story. So if you're bothered by things like that . . .

The success of Blair Witch Project in 1999 was one of the earliest examples of working the rubes using the Internet, and unlike everything else related to the Internet at the time, it made money. Naturally, a sequel was the first item on the agenda.

So they did it in 2000, one whole year later. That's a good turnaround for slap-ass moviemaking. The first one didn't give fans the horror movie stuff they need, the ominous music cues, the onscreen violence, the clear, unerstandable ending, the camera work that won't make you ralph.

So Blair Witch 2 put all those things back in.

In this movie, fans of Blair Witch Project join a tour in the town where the movie happened, Burkittsville. They camp in the Blair Witch woods, which is just crazy, in true horror movie style. They meet another tour group, then get stoned and drunk, because the tour guide brought enough weed and beer for everybody. So far, best tour ever.

The next day, they check video footage they got on their gigantic cameras while letting the camera run all night. They found hours of tape missing, and also the other tour group. Bum bum BUM!

This is the first movie that's a sequel to a website. BlairWitch.com and the Sci-Fi Channel's Curse of the Blair Witch mockumentary helped with the magical illusion of Blair Witch Project. Now they provide the backstory for Blair Witch 2. The Blair witch in the first movie was the maguffin to get the kids lost in the woods. The story was done eerily well on the mockumentary. But here, the mythology is not quite as eerie when it's spoken by hot actors.

The cast goes to the site of the creepy Blair Witch house where the final scene of Project took place. It's supposed to be an ominous scene, to echo the first movie. Except the house is torn down, which you would only know about if you read the website. Real estate improvement is terrifying!

The body count is way lower than it should have have been. It was not explained whether the kids were being tormented by the witch, or if they were just high out of their gourds.

And about the blank hours on the video: Clearly, the Blair Witch had no magic powers. She just had a sweet video editing setup out there in the woods.

I like finding actors that got famous later, in stuff when they were up and coming ham -- and -eggers. The only notable one here is Jeffrey Donavan from Burn Notice. So, Jeffrey Donovan fans can buy Blair Witch 2 for your Jeffrey Donovan collection.

Brother, I know the feeling.

There is one good thing about the movie: Lanny Flaherty as the sheriff of Burkittsville. The real ghost story in this movie is how the spirit of Slim Pickens from Blazing Saddles has been reincarnated in his body. He looks and talks identical to Slim.

I wish he had gone a-ridin' into town, a-whoppin' and a-whumpin' every livin' thing that moves within an inch of its life. Except the women folks, of course.

Piss on RevolutionSF's Joe Crowe! I'm working for Mel Brooks!

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