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Sci-Fi Dads : Jango Fett, Elrond, Kyle Reese, Darkseid
© Joe Crowe
June 11, 2010

On Father’s Day, we honor the dads that made our favorite heroes and heroines who they are today. Or who they were a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. Or who they will be in a post-apocalyptic future. Anyways, time to make with the honoring.

9. Jango Fett: Father of Boba (Star Wars: Episode II — Attack of the Clones)

He's just a simple man trying to make his way in the galaxy. Father and son Boba bonded while trying to kill Obi-Wan Kenobi.

It's not his fault the Empire wanted to make clones of him. He's a handsome devil. The only daddy-style job he didn't complete was the part about telling his son to be careful in the desert when he goes near big holes.

8. Cigarette-Smoking Man: Father of Fox Mulder ( . . . or is he?) (The X-Files)

The essence of the selfless parent. The only explanation for his actions is that he recognized his smoking habit would endanger his son Fox Mulder through second-hand smoke. Rather than quitting smoking, he joined up with an intricate conspiracy with aliens and goo and kidnapping Mulder's sister. She REALLY needed to be kept safe from the dangers of tobacco.

7. Elrond: Father of Arwen (The Lord of the Rings)

Every dad worries when his daughter meets a guy. But Elrond came up with the best triple -whammy excuse to keep her away from a boy.

First he said he wouldn’t give his blessing until the guy became king of the known world.

Then Elrond told her he was moving out of the country and she could never come over again if she insisted on living with the guy.

And she wouldn't grow old, but her hubby would. And by the time he died, she'd still be young and miserable until she just got sick of it all and died from unhappiness.

And I was just going to give my daughter's boyfriends the skunk-eye.

6. Darkseid / Highfather (tie): Father of Orion / Father of Mr. Miracle (Fourth World)


In Jack Kirby's DC Comics series, Mr. Miracle was the son of Highfather, king of the good guys on the good planet of New Genesis. Orion was the son of Darkseid, king of the bad guys on the bad planet Apokolips. To ensure peace, they traded sons.

Mr. Miracle was accustomed to puppy dogs and lilacs. Suddenly he was ankle-deep belching fire-pits and demon poo. Thanks, pop!

Orion was totally OK with the demon-poo and the belching fire-pits.

But then he was stuck eating chocolate cake and bouncing on trampolines all day. Thanks, pop!

5. Angel: Father of Connor (Angel)

Angel was a good dad, until the boy got kidnapped to another dimension and raised to be a moody emo jerk-ass. Then he did it with Angel's woman! And still Angel did not bite him.

But no parenting books covered all that, so Angel did what every parent would do: He rearranged the universe to put his amnesiac child with another family, and let them raise him to be happy. Think of the money he saved on therapy bills.

4. Pa Kent: Adoptive Father of Clark Kent (Smallville)

A hard-working man on a farm got what every hard-working dad deserves: A hard-working son who can lift a tractor and clean the barn in under 10 seconds. Thanks to his good advice, Clark would become the greatest superhero. But back then, he had cow pens to clean out.

On Father's Day, Pa Kent especially enjoyed when Annette O'Toole buttered his biscuits. Oh yeah.

3. Adama: Father of Apollo (Battlestar Galactica)

On original Battlestar, Adama always had to make sure that Hoss, Little Joe, and Adam -- I mean, Apollo and Starbuck weren't fighting over some girl or some saddle. But on the new Battlestar Galactica, Adama is a grizzled military commander who lies about knowing where Earth is, and everyone totally believes him!

You will note how there is no Mrs. Adama around. They are not as easy to fool as an entire galactic civilization.

2. Kyle Reese: Father of John Connor (The Terminator)

Kyle fought robots with his buddy, then he volunteered to go back in time and find his buddy's mother. Then he totally banged his buddy's mom and became his dad. Then he died. That is the picture of a committed parent.

1. Zandor: Father from The Herculoids

Usually when kids ask for a pet, the parents get all squirrely, worrying about responsibility and litter boxes. But not Zandor.

Little shirtless Dorno asked for a pet, and Daddy got him a giant gorilla made out of stone, a 16-legged triceratops that shoots fireballs, a dragon with heat vision, and glob things that go "Wiggy wiggy wiggy."

AWESOMEST DAD EVER.


All your sci-fi dads are belong to us: The Ultimate Sci-Fi Dad Lists.

 
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