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Trailer Probe : Thor
© Mark Bousquet
July 31, 2010

Trailer Probe helps you waste your Internet time wisely. Geek explosion content is the good parts, dork disengagement level is the bad parts. Geek parts per billion is the total amount of nerdy value.


Dork disengagement level: The Thor trailers keep going up and keep getting pulled down, so every time I put a link to one here it disappears. Just search for Thor trailer and you can find it.

Geek explosion content: Thor and Green Lantern were two of my three favorite comics as a kid (Avengers being the other) and they’re both due out in theaters next year, so I’m like that nervous, expectant parent. (Because I’m assuming having a kid is exactly like waiting for a movie to come out.)

I’ve watched the Thor trailer and it makes me a very happy little fanboy.

I thought Kenneth Branagh (Did you know he likes it pronounced BranNER and not BranNAW? See, there’s a reason to watch Attack of the Show besides Munn and Haislip’s hotness. You learn things.) was a terrific choice to helm Thor.

Not only is he a talented director, but he’s made his cake and rep doing Shakespeare flicks, so he’s used to adapting canonical, epic material to the screen. Even more importantly, like the Jon Favreau hire for Iron Man, Branagh the Director flies under the radar despite having a solid resume.

So my hopes were pretty high.

And, holy Simonson, that trailer seriously works.

It's pretty clear that Favreau’s Iron Man is going to be the template for Marvel-controlled movies, the most important aspect being to focus on the person to amplify the costume. Odin’s dressing down of Thor to kick off the trailer quickly tells us what we need to know; it’s a fantastic reversal from the typical superhero origin story where Character X is a normal guy/girl who gains powers and then away they go.

Branagh could’ve done that, of course, starting the movie by focusing on Doctor Don Blake who, I don’t know, finds a hammer in a cave or something. That he starts with hammer-wielding Thor and casts him out of Asgard, making him earn his powers back, gives Thor a different angle that should help the movie from feeling like we’ve seen it before. Because honestly, there’s been so many superhero movies released in the past ten years that I no longer get excited simply that they exist, they also have to look good.

Odin casts Thor out and he lands in a desert, where he wakes up to find a concerned Natalie Portman looking down at him.

Wow. Earth totally sucks.

Smartly, the film isn’t going to include the Don Blake persona, or at least the nerdy doctor with the walking stick bit. While the Blake persona works for the origin story (at least, the origin in terms of getting him involved on Earth), it becomes pretty useless pretty fast afterward. It gives Thor a secret identity in an attempt to turn him into just another superhero, and makes him seem all Billy Batson to me.

Loki probably manipulated all the bad stuff that happens to Thor, because he’s Loki and he’s good at crap like that.

There’s plenty of bad-assness in the trailer: all the characters look pretty awesome, Asgard looks awesome, Anthony Hopkins sounds awesome, and Agent Coulson provides of comic relief.

And they included the Destroyer.

Seriously, how filking awesome is that? The Destroyer. Not only does it look amazing, it provides the best line in the trailer when a government agent asks Agent Coulson: "Is that one of Stark’s?" To which Coulson replies: "I don’t know. He doesn’t tell me anything.”

It would have been nice to hear more dialogue from Hemsworth and the Asgardians who aren’t Anthony Hopkins, and maybe it reveals too much of the story, but this trailer does nothing but get me more excited for this movie.

The Filking Destroyer.

If that doesn’t make you believe Ultron is going to rule whatever movie he gets to rampage in, then go suck on a Cheez Ball.

Geek parts per billion: One billion. The Destroyer!

Mark Bousquet, writer and creator of Atomic Anxiety, has a new book. Buy it and verily shall ye earn Cheez Balls.

(Wow, Planters doesn’t even make Cheez Balls any more. They make something called “Cheez Mania,” which is the “Original Cheez Ball” but apparently you can only get them in the small packages. Epic Fail, Planters. Epic Fail. Of course, I haven’t had one in probably 15 years, so I guess I’m part of the problem to their current non-existence.)

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