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Trailer Probe : Green Lantern
© RevolutionSF
November 17, 2010

Trailer Probe reviews nerd-related movie trailers. Geek explosion content is the good parts, dork disengagement level is the bad parts. Geek parts per billion is the total quality rating, with one billion being the super-nerdiest.

Green Lantern

Dork disengagement level: I want more Green Lanterns than just purple headed ones and Hal. Half a second is not enough Tomar Re. Really, I just want to see the plant / crystal guy or the math equation Green Lantern. How dare you, sirs?

Hal's almost-crying look and his mournful voice-over was way overboard. Carol acted differently at each end of the trailer. You usually don't get whole character arcs in two minutes.

I hope the planet and space shots look more solid and real in the movie. That's right. I want a real looking alien planet.

Hal wobbles with turbulence when he's flying through airless space. I think that's inaccurate. -- Joe Crowe

* * * * *

How come Marvel can do an Avengers movie, but DC can't get me a Justice League one? Damn it!

And while I'm here, where's Ollie? There better be some Ollie. Cause that's Hal's best friend. Not this other nameless dude. -- Deanna Toxopeus

* * * * *

The whole thing felt kinda, I dunno. Lame.

Like a Disney movie from the seventies where they make up a superhero of their own, only it's got that weird Disney spin on it so you can't really take it seriously. That's what the whole thing felt like.

It looks exactly like what we would like, from the Hal Jordan origin story right down to the Green Lantern Corps money shot and a bunch of CGI mass-destruction.

It was like a tulpa. I recognized the shell, but failed to connect with it, because it felt soulless and dead inside. -- Mark Finn

* * * * *

It's been a not-so-secret desire of mine to script Green Lantern someday, and write it as a science fiction adventure, rather than simply "super-heroes in space" as it's been done for the majority of the past 50 years. So I've watched the development of this film closely. That said, I had darn near the same reaction as Finn and wanted to slit my wrists.

But then I remembered. It's a trailer. Trailers aren't cut by the filmmakers. They're cut together by ad men who normally don't know or care what the film is about, they're more interested in pigeonholing it and packaging the film as pre-digested and inoffensive.

Warners tried for a very long time to make Green Lantern into a wacky comedy, even attempting to build the film around Jack Black.

There's a definite attempt at a Greatest American Hero setup, almost like this was Bill & Ted's Intergalactic Adventure. The epic aspects are soft-pedaled, and so tonally dissonant with the Hal Jordan background setup, that it feels like two different movies.

Remember, this is the same Hollywood that normally sets EVERYTHING on Earth, from Masters of the Universe to Transformers, because execs don't believe an audience can grasp a setting anywhere other than the good old U.S. of A.

The more I think about it (and rewatch the trailer) the more I'm convinced this is one of the most incompetent movie promos ever. The only part that succeeds is the brief glimpses of dazzle, which come off as a reluctant afterthought in the trailer, included only because they had to be. The filmmakers are saying all the right things. That Hal goes to Oa and encounters other Lanterns who don't look like they stepped out of Club Med is a major break from previous treatments of this property. This gives me hope.

The movie could still live down to this trailer, but I'll accept it with a grain of salt and assume the tone-deaf elements result from Warners' corporate incomprehension. In the future, maybe they could contract out to Marvel to cut future trailers, because those guys get it. -- Jayme Blaschke

Geek explosion content: "The ring. It chose you."

I was jazzed at the money shots that were intentionally placed just for me and my geek brethren. You know what I'm talking about: "Ooh, Sinestro! Ooh, Tomar Re! Ooh, Kilowog! Hey, it's Abin Sur!" -- Mark Finn

* * * * *

My not-so-secret desire is to script a Green Lantern movie that features Ch'p, the most awesome DC comic hero of all time. -- Matthew Bey

* * * * *

I'm OK with the CGI Lantern costume. Even the mask. It's all glowy.

Hector Hammond looked freaky. But he's supposed to: He's a villain with a giant head.

Hal's buddy nailed the Jordan character stuff all in three words: "Great responsibility? You?"

The doubtful, more-human Jordan is a relatively recent addition to the comic book Jordan. But you have to give the non-nerds something.

One day I won't nerd out when I see a comic book hero in live action the first time.

But not today. Seeing the ring up close and hearing someone say "Hal Jordan" and "Green Lantern" is super cool. -- Joe Crowe

Geek parts per billion: 550,000.

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