Warning: The review ahead has one quote. And some mild notes about the happenings in the movie. Other than that, it's spoiler-free.
"Yeah, I had to dismember that zombie with a trowel. So what’s new with you?”
What can you put in a movie script that has to have everything? You can add Freddie from Angel, Andrew from Buffy, throw in some Joss-isms and call that mofo a movie, my friends.
How do you feel about blood sacrifices? I know, me too! That was purposely vague and I won’t clarify it because, trust me when I say this, you don’t know what you don’t wanna know. Give it a minute, it’s a bit of a thinker.
I’m not gonna lie to you, this movie had me at the title.
If you know anything about horror movies you know that calling something Cabin In The Woods means you get foxy kids in a remote setting, gratuitous breast shots, gyrating blondes, tough guy jocks, bikini romping, and a stoner (are they still called that?).
But wait. There’s more!
What the viewers know that the foxy kids don’t is that for all of their youth and My Whole Life is Ahead of Me attitude, the setting is ripe for a little hack and slash.
Who do these kids think they are, anyway? Sure. You’re beautiful and strong and you don’t have those wings under your arms or that turkey waddle under your neck. But I’ll tell you what else you don’t have: a reliable car that doesn’t stall when a zombie with comes a-calling.
This movie gives you everything you need to be lulled into a false sense of safety, only to be slapped back into reality with a a demented clown or a phantasm or that thing that pushed your closet door open a crack, right after your Mom hit the lights and closed your bedroom door.
There is a part in this movie that literally left mouths agape with utter terror, disbelief and hysterical laughter.
Yes. The Joss Whedon trifecta!
I won't tell you more about it but when you see it you’ll know. And once you know, you’ll have that uncomfortable laughter you get when something is not just heinous, but true and also seriously funny.
This movie is so much Win because once the heads start rolling, they never, ever stop.
RevSF's Cabin in the Woods Saturation Coverage
Our exclusive interview with Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard!
This review by Gary Mitchel has zero spoilers.
This review by Chris McCaleb has another spoiler or two.