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Batman 66 Bat-Probe Episode 11: A Riddle A Day Keeps The Riddler Away
Reviewed by Geena Phillips, © 2014

Format: TV
Genre:   Batman!
Review Date:   September 17, 2014

"Gotham City International Airport; a pleasant day…” From this narration, we can surmise that the stock airport footage shown is NOT from Philadelphia International Airport.

Enter the wise, benevolent (and most importantly, U.S.-friendly) King Boris. As sole monarch of an unnamed vaguely-European country, King Boris has arrived bearing an important gift of friendship betwixt our two nations (in case you didn't know this was a fictional European country).

His arrival is marred, however, when a Madeline-themed porn actress hands King Boris a bouquet of flowers which, lo and behold, turn out to be a clue from… The Riddler!

"When is a person like a piece of wood?” Any men-folk who've woken up REALLY needing to pee already know the answer.

Real Chief O'Hara dialogue: "There's no doubt about it; the Riddler, that "infernal prince of puzzlers" as you call him, is up to his old tricks.”

Imaginary Commissioner Gordon dialogue: ”I’mma interrupt you right there. I have NEVER abused alliteration in such a fashion; you best walk that shit back right now.”

Every time one of Commissioner Gordon's lines starts with "I have a fine police force here, yet…", you know what's coming next. I would HATE to be a jaywalker in Gotham City; I mean, what else do the police there have to worry about?

Alfred is busily polishing the Batpoles; heh heh heh heh heh. It bears noting, at this juncture, that Bruce's pole is of considerably wider girth then Dick's (totally not making that up!).

"Mercy alive! If I didn't know you two better, I'd think you were up to something.” That's right, Aunt Harriet; you just keep whistling past the graveyard, and living in Stately Wayne Manor rent-free.

The chintzy "Miss Galaxy pageant" set juxtaposed with stock footage of a huge, crowded audience is priceless.

Hmm. Miss Stage Right kinda has some badonkadonk going on; funny how I never noticed that as a child.

The Riddler arrives, and clumsily steals Miss Galaxy's priceless tiara; luckily for him, the Dynamic Duo's response (to a crime Batman successfully predicted) somehow manages to be even more clumsy.

Imaginary Bat-dialogue:

"Hey, Batman; the Riddler's over there, like 15 feet away, taunting us with the fake tiara and giving us another clue. You think maybe we should, I don't know, go over there and whomp on him a little?"

"No no, Boy Wonder; our most prudent course of action is to remain seated here in the Batmobile. We'll have the chance to go upside his head in the next episode.”

Enter the "sinister River Rats gang," who clearly blew their costume budget on an ultra-sturdy cheese slicer (because they REALLY LIKE CHEESE; get it?).

Next scene: the wine cellar at the Mushroom Club. I realize that the sound of multiple wine corks popping is supposed to signal eminent danger to King Boris, but the sound effect used couldn't possibly be considered anything other than whimsical.

After King Boris is snatched away via a trap-door in the wine cellar (man! The Riddler must REALLY want to kill Batman; because, so far, this seems like an awful lot of work), B&R head back to the Batcave, to decipher the clue the Riddler has given them (NOTE: Batman's typing on the Batcomputer would make Mavis Beacon's head EXPLODE).

"And, at the obsolete water and power plant…" Before we go any further, let me offer a suggestion to any municipal planners out there: Treating millions of gallons of water at the same place where you generate electricity is probably a sub-optimal idea.

Ah, the classic vertical wall climb. As always, Robin is in front; hey, Caped Crusader, how about a little Bat-personal space, huh?

Hey, Riddler: Laughing at your own jokes is kind of off-putting; knock it off already.

Oh, no! The Dynamic Duo are strapped to drive-shafts that rotate 1000 revolutions per second (make up your mind, Riddler: do they rotate or revolve?)! Will the completely-and-obviously-dummies strapped to these fiendish whirling dervishes survive until next time? What are you, some kind of idiot?


Hench 4 Life!

All Bat-Probe reviews are right here, conveniently called Batman 66 Bat-Probe: Season 1: All The Episodes

Geena Phillips knows a lot about taunting you with a fake tiara. Write to her at geenacanblowme@gmail.com. The address really works! Try it!

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