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Metal Hurlant Chronicles
Reviewed by Joe Crowe, © 2014

Format: TV
Genre:   Sci-fi anthology
Review Date:   October 20, 2014
RevSF Rating:   6/10 (What Is This?)

This one is a sci-fi and fantasy anthology show, using the original French name of the magazine Heavy Metal. All the episodes come from stories that first appeared in the magazine. Every woman is as sexed-up as she can possibly be on PG-rated TV, and some of the male actors are likewise oiled up and leather-covered.

It has nerd favorites as stars, among them James Marsters, Joe Flanigan, Michael Jai White, Rutger Hauer and John Rhys-Davies.

The show uses green-screen and CG out its own high-definition wazoo, and shows off nicely constructed creature suits.

Most of the episodes have shocking endings, so shocking that their presence is no longer shocking. The endings would be more shocking if every single one was not shocking. I figured out one ending almost immediately, but I don’t like to brag. I watched it anyway.

In one episode James Marsters is a cowboy doctor in a Wild West town. “Loyal Khondor,” a bird-man must save his queen, so he consults a wise man played by John Rhys-Davies, as anyone should do. In “Shelter Me,” James Marsters is a stalker who kidnaps a lady, then tells her the world ends and now she’s trapped with him. It would be a truly terrifying story if good ol’ Spike wasn’t the main character. I can’t stay scared of him.

The episode “Endomorph” has a giant rabbit. So if you were not planning on watching an episode before, I fail to see any reason now why you shouldn't.

The best part is the ominous, gravelly narration, which tells the ancient legend of an asteroid that was part of a planet so evil that it blew up. So now the asteroid screams across the cosmos, literally! It’s got a human face. Sometimes it appears during an episode, which makes that episode more awesome.

The narrator in every episode pronounces the screaming asteroid's name as “Metal Hur-LAWN.” But when the show ran on Syfy, Syfy’s “coming up next” announcer pronounced the show title “Metal Hur-LONT.” Come on, buddy. The pronunciation is right there in the show itself. Maybe he was too busy doing intros for Wee Smockdawn or Whorehouse Three-Teen.



Syfy's Metal Hurlant Chronicles site only has images, which is nice, but you'll have to look elsewhere to find the giant rabbit and the rest of the show.

 
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