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What Would Zombies from Night of the Living Dead Do?
Contest Hosted by Joe Crowe

Today's Dilemma: Which political system is truly the most advantageous for society?

WWZD?

Grr. Arg. (sarah-neko@dove.gen.nz)

Ughn! (wolvie110@hotmail.com)

No.....politics....more....braiiiins.... (leissuit@aol.com)

Well,tthe problems facing society seem to be so grave, with all our resident evils. We need a system that won't rely on voodoo economics, of corpse......we can't just shout "Abra-cadaver" and have our problems go away.....We need a leader with real brains! Swweeeeet.....brains. Oh.....oh yes. And then, we can go through the night, through the dawn, and come to a new day! (kjkearney@home.com)

Only a Zombie-led syzztem can ever work! And you stupid humaannzz have foiled our planzzz for the past severall ellectionzzz. Gore, Dukakis, heell....even Jerry Brown. But wee prrrevailed over yooou once! Too bad Ford didn't get a seccond teeerm. Oh well. (kjkearney@home.com)

Tearing brains out at random and chomping down: its the worst way to eat, except for all the other ways (drobvious@madmail.com)

System.. promoting... good... schools... to... grow... more... BRAINS! RAAAAH! {drool, shuffle, drool, shuffle} (bessellieu@excite.com)

Uuuuuggghhh!Uuuuuggghhh! *braaap* Aaaahhhh! (bblatt11@aol.com)

MMMllllluuuuuhhhhhhhh...brains... (arimmer5@aol.com)

Brains! BRAINS! No, not Republicans, Theocrats or Dictators, we want BRAINS!!! (arc_highbeam@yahoo.com)

Errrrnnngggghhh... Democracy work with great thought. Thought increase brain. Errrrnnnnhhh... Braaaaaaaaaaains. Marxism good in theory, but disrupt... braaaaaaains. (skypilot@ptd.net)

You raise one of the most oft-debated queries of modern humanity. Here is my humble view of the situation:
In communist societies, the state confiscates all the brains; the undead may wait all day in line to purchase some, only to find there are no more available.
In monarchist societies, the king gets to keep all the brains, and the peasant undead starve.
In anarchist societies, brains are everywhere, unregulated and haphazard, and the undead life is nasty, brutish, and short.
In totalitarian regimes, eating brains is illegal, and you may be shot for trying, even though you are already undead.
My advice, therefore, is that democratic societies are the most beneficial, at least for the undead. None of the citizens use very much brain at all in this kind of system, so all that tasty grey matter won't be missed when you need to have a small snack.
Oh, and before I forget: Grrrrraaargghhh! (ahsturgis@mindspring.com)

Well...uhhh...replub...ic...an...s provide the most...lusious...brai...uh...we mean, they are very smart and therefore more deliciou...better for society (dragonchicisme@aol.com)

Well, little Charlie, me and the ghouls don't really talk much about politics anymore, seeing as our brains have pretty much corroded and we require neural matter to stay animate! So why don't you [filk] off with your stupid stinking questions and go bother the living, before we MOB your house, devour your FAMILY AND PETS, and ... murgh... brains... ooooggghh... must... escape... stereotype... (megatonnage@hotmail.com)

Plato's aristocratic (meaning ruled by the best) society would be the most ideal. Based on the idea that those who are not overly bright, or strong, or brave, are suited to various productive professions: farming, smithing, building, etc. Those who are somewhat bright, strong, and especially courageous are suited to defensive and policing professions. Those who are extraordinarily intelligent, virtuous, and brave, are suited to run the state itself; this means those with the strongest brains rule, and those with the weakest don't. Using Plato's model, state dinners consisting of cracking open the heads of our leaders and sucking out their brains...mmm brains. Brains! Do forgive me. State dinners would result in the most nutritionally advantageous meals for those of us among the living impaired. (themacrocosm@sympatico.ca)

A fascinating question. I will attempt to be brief. To begin, one must consider that no new political, ah, idiom, so to speak, can truly be effectuated with one-hundred percent efficiency. Obviously, if one possesses some basic familiarity with political studies and the essential human condition, one realizes that there will always be dissenters to any system. The key, therefore, is to accommodate their particular modes of dissent in a way that neither negates their value as individuals nor undermines the legal and governmental system's authority to make, enforce, and adjudicate law. For example, the simplest, and yet one of the most powerful, methods of accommodating legitimate grievance is through the time-honored practice of the public forum. By public forum, of course, I mean any suitably confined space where the dissenter can be cornered, overwhelmed, killed, and his or her brains consumed. (mock@springmail.com)

Perhaps this final bit of wisdom comes from the most delicious brain.

Ungggh....egalitarianism...like... buffet...ahhhnnn....all taste good...uaaannn... (nettroll@email.com)



 
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