home : news : reviews : features : fiction : podcast : blogs : t-shirts : wtf?
 

Subspace: Geek-a-licious!
Hosted by Joe Crowe

My name is Joe, and here for you are my recommendations for Christmas and holiday-related songs for you to obtain, through whatever means you deem appropriate. I do not prescribe downloading music off the web, I only recommend and advocate it.
 
Nearly anything from the Rankin-Bass specials (as noted in Merriest Christmas Specials Ever, and now the cheap plug for my own work is ended).
 
Because Christmas is fun, and these songs are funny:
Blue Christmas - by some comedian doing a Porky Pig impression
Santa's Gonna Kick Your Ass - Arrogant Worms
I Am Santa Claus (to the tune of Black Sabbath's "Iron Man") - Bob Rivers
I Found The Brains of Santa Claus - Jason and the Strap-Tones
 
Please Come Home For Christmas -- Jon Bon Jovi, only because in the video, he and Cindy Crawford have an almost pornographic makeout session, and do everything but dry-hump each other right there on VH1.
 
David Bowie and Bing Crosby doing Little Drummer Boy / Peace on Earth, because it's fun to wonder what Bing was thinking when Ziggy Stardust staggered into the studio to sing it.
 
Father Christmas by The Kinks, and Thank God For Christmas by Queen, because they rule.
 
Oh yeah, several of you wrote letters to Subspace.
 
Subject: Cowboy Bebop
Will someone teach norm@win.bright.net how to spell? I can't stand people who just quickly type a letter and mail it with out checking for errors. God, it's so annoying! Now to the subject; Cowboy Bebop is quite possibly the best anime I've seen since recently. I really, really liek it! (wolvie110@hotmail.com)
 
The best anime you've seen since RECENTLY? The anime fans MUST OBTAIN PERSPECTIVE SOMEHOW. I will make it my quest.
 
Subject: Randomness!
Microsoft, AOL, and my ancient, prehistoric computer have all conspired to sap my will to live. I hope they're happy.
 
-- That little 'it's no Invader Zim' ref in the new Neutron review gave me warm and fuzzy feelings galore. Any single mention of the great Zim is enough to cement my undying devotion to you awesome people. I saw Neutron about a week before its release (gotta love those radio-sponsored free sneak previews) and had much the same opinion on it. It wasn't nearly as bad a movie as I expected. I had to try really hard to keep the 'Zim would be a thousand times better movie, a Zim movie would have a much cooler giant space chicken, etc.' thoughts at bay long enough to enjoy the movie, though.
 
-- They've now got little black beanie hats with Zim on them at Hot Topic. I'm broke. I cry and pray for gift certificate. Bet Spongebob merchandise never sold out like the Zim stuff has (several times now).
--Rumor has it new Zim will be coming our way in February, during Sweeps week. Sweeps is a time for all the best (or at least flashiest) a network has to offer. Is Nick finally taking notice of Zim's popularity? Doubtful.
--Lord of the Rings. Need I even say anything about Lord of the Rings? About how utterly cool it was? About how I haven't enjoyed a fantasy movie that much since Dragonheart? About how I'm now tearing through the books because I can't wait till next Christmas for resolution? Wednesday was a very good day.
-- I'm such a Zim obsessive it's corrupted my mom. When they mentioned Mount Doom, my mom turned around and mouthed 'DOOM' at me. I laughed.
-- Enya's all well and good, but for your list of sci-fi/fantasy related music, I submit Loreena McKennitt. Her stuff has a really ancient 'of the fair folk' kinda feel to it. Book of Secrets is an awesome CD. Linkin Park's Hybrid Theory is also majorly good.
-- -end randomness- (bobomaniac@aol.com)
 
I enjoy a little randomness now and then. 
 
Subject: I'm a living rock guy with wings...
Have you ever sat on a piece of Gothic architecture for nearly two hundred years? (gargoyle@revolutionsf.com)
 
No, but I dated someone who was into Goth, for what seemed like two hundred years.
 
Just kidding.
 
It only seemed like 150.
 
Subject: Hecklers
[I'm not sure if you fine gents would know this but has Hecklers.com (one time founder and evil master over zealot.com who recently metamorphosed into the almighty RevolutionSF [nice recap huh?]) gone under? (see317@attbi.com)]
 
[Yes.]
 
What about ANT.com? Will they be moving to a new, independent URL (like you guys did)? Will keep their ANT.com URL name and just be independent? Or are they shutting down? (shynicet@aol.com)
 
A good plenty of the ANT guys are already working with us, (RevSF Anime Fiend Kevin Pezzano, Insane Geekboy Bad Movie Reviewer Philip Black, and Comics Guy Kenn McCracken), and I believe any ANT-like video game stuff they might do, they would do for RevSF.
 
But I don't wanna answer for them. So I'll give them time to save their current games and respond in the next Subspace.
 
Subject: paints with coyotes
oh, we have a coyote mural.
it's still up. :-)
Couple floors down from me has a great Xena and Callisto mural... (laura47@mit.edu)
 
No, no, no, no, no. Send a picture of the Xena / Callisto mural. Now, I said.
 
Subject: Invader Zim
I simply love that show, and I would just LOVE if you got more information on the show. Thanks! (aimee@toxic.net)
 
I'm afraid if all we ever talked about was Invader Zim, that we would... you know, we'd probably do really well.
 
How does RevolutionZIM.com sound?
 
Subject: You Am Bizarro No. 1 To Me
Boy, I love writing sci-fi related songs.....here's another that's goofy, stupid, and downright corny.  That's why I luv it so.   Some Revolutionaries that can play guitar, should help me put these to music.   Ooo!  Kenn's got musical talent...(hint, hint)

Anyway, it's a short one, and here it is. 

Me look at all women in world
There am only one who me not want to be my girl
You am ugliest lady me ever see
You smell real bad, of this me not agree
But you still am Bizarro number one to me
Me want to put on all me clothes and push you around
Whenever Me see you, Me wearing a frown
Me love am impure, like evening dew
.....me true love...... Is someone who not you!!!!!
Be-cause......you am....Bizarro number one to me. (kjkearney@home.com)
 
If Kenn sets this song to music, Bizarro Joe Crowe will be so happy he will make Kenn LIVE!
 
Listen, Mr... Crowe, is it?  If you think that your trademark wit, butt-gusting humor, and toe-tapping, finger-snapping, 'geek-a-licious' banjo playing will just let you waltz right into Santa's inner sanctum--you're right! (kingofallcorgis@hotmail.com)
 
Personal reminder: Trademark own wit.
 
Personal reminder 2: Learn to play banjo.
 
Subject: 1234 Mini Rants
No meds and no smoke here.  This is what I call a natural high, of course my analyst calls it a case study but that's just her opinion.  Just say no to drugs, unless it's caffeine then drink til it hurts, or until your tolerance is so high that a triple espresso with a 1/4 cup of cocoa is what you drink to turn in for the night.  Good night Gracey....  (nettroll@email.com)
 
I personally need two 20-ounce Pepsis just for the crash and burn. Of course, there's always the chance that the caffeine buzz will hit first, and then I'll be up at 4:15 a.m., just ululating. And sometimes fustigating.
 
Subject: sci-ku

sci-ku is not lame!  sci-ku is the niftiest thingum ever! (nohx1013@netscape.net) 

Yeah!

Hey, YOU try answering what sometimes seems like 1,700 letters at a time. Hey, I feel like I'm in a grunge band. "I never asked to be popular. Stop buying my albums, you pieces of crap!"

Man, you're bitter I can taste it! But everyone, please know that Lucas doesn't hate his fans at all! He probably just let all the fame and fortune go to his head while making Episode 1, apparently, and I think that's why it wasn't very good. So have faith in Episode 2. And maybe try to contact Lucas and give some input. He could use some! As for Berman: BONFIRE ON'IM! (wolvie110@hotmail.com)
 
I don't think Lucas accepts phone calls. At least, probably not from me, if word ever got out about the article. Cuz you see, it contains criticism.
 
Subject: Lucas, Berman...
Hey Joe,
You should probably cover the fan response of "Oh thank you gods of our genre.  Will you use the belt sander and heat paint-stripper as part of the foreplay this time.  Oh and how about a razor-wire enema those alway get us in the mood, and as always we will pay you for it.  Matter of fact if you release a Mace Windu/Seven of Nine razor wire play set we will gladly spend $250.00 American on it". (nettroll@email.com)
 
The last time I decided not to see one of the Big Two movies was when I didn't see Star Trek Insurrection. And we see what happened then. Oh, that's right... it still wasn't very good.
 
is probably one of the funniest things I have ever read... and I am going right now to be the first in line to get me a aibo-esk GIR doll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MEHEHEHEHEHEH (laughs manicaly while hiting myself in the head with a moose and dancing like a monkey)

P.S. please write back and "do a lill dance" (jetstorm@stupid.com)

Everyone: Take your hand off the exclamation point keys and just cool out.

NOW BEGINS THE SECTION OF SUBSPACE WHERE WE TALK ABOUT LORD OF THE RINGS. PLEASE KEEP YOUR HANDS ON THE TABLE WHERE WE CAN SEE THEM AT ALL TIMES.
 
Subject: doo dee doo
it is christmas and santa brought me a lava lamp. I is happy. I also got a real detour road sign. From the side of the road. YOU PEOPLE PROBABLY DON'T CARE THOUGH BECAUSE THE ONLY THING YOU IS CARIN' ABOUT IS LORD OF DEM RING!
WORD UP! WEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! HAPPY DAY to you. (spoot_spooty_zim@hotmail.com)
 
Spooty -- if I may call you that -- PLEASE go see Lord of the Rings. I really want to hear what you think of it. It's 3 hours long, which is about the same as watching Invader Zim 6 times in a row.
 
And I know you've done THAT before.
 
Subject: come on, guess . . .
MEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!  LOTR. so. !#$@$#!$##$ good.  I saw it yesterday.  Was walking around in a daze all day today thinking about it and generally obsessing.  Parents thought something was wrong with me.   
argggggg, how can I ever concentrate on anything ever again?  DAMN YOU LOTR AND YOUR AMAZINGNESS! I'm going to fail out of college.  That's it.  I'll just have to accept it. (nohx1013@netscape.net)
 
You can always get a job answering letters to a sci-fi website.
 
Subject: Major Arghness
::Sigh:: Argh...
I was supposed to go see LOTR today, but I'm stuck home with a 101 degree fever.  Again, ARGH.  WHY?????????????????  WHY MUST YOU DO THIS TO ME??????  WHAT NEXT, I'LL BE SICK WHEN SPIDER-MAN COMES OUT TOO???  AND THERE WON'T BE ANY FANTA LEFT IN THE WORLD????  AND ALL THE CATS WILL MYSTERIOUSLY DIE???  AND SAVES THE DAY WILL BREAK UP THE DAY BEFORE THEY COME TO PHILLY??? AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
Did I mention ARGH?
~Smarko, very very very very very very angry right now (smarko98@aol.com)
 
Who are Saves The Day? Didn't they break up?
 
Subject: Re: LOTR
Saw the movie yesterday, and loved it!  Some random thoughts:
-It was cool to see the visual effects be subtle instead of in-your-face.  The smoke rings Gandalf puffed, the different heights of the characters,  the invisibilty...all very well done.
-The beginning should have been more "The Hobbit", just to segue the story a little better.  I realllly wanted to see Gollum in all his creepy, hissing glory.
-The line about dwarf-tossing was the funniest damned thing in the film!
Loved the movie, can't wait for the next one, and George Lucas should take notes on how to please an audience... (leissuit@aol.com)
 
I think I've said my piece about Mr. Lucas. For Gollum, I can wait.

Subject: Laura's Comments on Legolas
Legolas *is* gorgeous.  But, if you value your sanity and your chance to admire, I highly recommend *not* looking at Orlando Bloom's picture.  *sigh* what a sad day...
(PS: I've lived in the Boston area my whole life; the Ring at MIT may have been simpler than many, but I think its my favorite yet.  :) ) (etoilepaix@aol.com)
 
Should all fanboys take up archery? And would that help in their quest for girlie action?
 
For the following letters, I will allow their comments to go uncommented upon by me, and then I will respond to them all at the end.
 
Subject: LOTR
LOTR was the best. I've watched a lot of crappy movies, I've worried about how it was gonna turn out and I happily report I was completely WRONG. This was such a cool movie. Everyone I know who has seen it loved it. And most of the people who saw it can't even remember the books. Everyone wants to see it again, and wants the sequel right now. I went home after seeing that movie and started reading the Two Towers just because I needed to relive now now now. NOt to mention it gets me realllllly worked up when I talk about it just because it was so good.
 Even if you have no clue what the LOTR is, see this movie. THough it would probably be best if you have a Fan in your pocket or at least near by.
End Rant and rousing endorsement. (kabaian@yahoo.co.uk)
 
Subject: Melissa and Legolas
Melissa is such a good friend.
She got me a legolas doll for xmas.
pretty pretty elf boy....
we'll be seeing it for my third and a half and her second and a half time on wednesday.
The movie! it came! and it was so wonderful, just as i KNEW it would be!!! i knew we woudl nto be dissapointed like star wars. ONE TRILOGY TO RULE THEM ALL!!!!!
(laura47@mit.edu)
 
Subject: mmmmm.....lotr.......
LOTR GOODNESS!!!!! WOOHOOO!!!
They got it right! And it was wonderful. And I should see it again. I NEED to see it again!!!
That movie was just so amazingly er...amazing!!!!
I went with Laura47 and a bunch of other people and I had my cloak on and it was just so wonderfully perfect!!!
*sigh* Now I have to wait a WHOLE YEAR for the next one...*sniffle* Well, I guess I could always read the books again....(mnewman@tulane.edu)
 
Subject: To: Dr. Klaw re: LOTR
OK, not to add my voice to the tons of effervescent praise being heaped on the makers of LOTR, but yes, the movie kicked serious orc. 
 
Rick, you can smoke my big fat Bilbo, and I'll tell you why.
 
To begin with, OK I admit that although I devoured the Hobbit several times in my childhood, I never got around to the Rings trilogy.  Yet.  (Foolishly I still wait for more Heinlein or Asimov books to be turned into movies.)  So while this gives me almost NO authority to nitpick Fellowship as has been done, it DOES mean that I experienced simply as a new thing.  And though the time was a little long, I thought that the movie moved rather fast, not a constant adrenalin rush and not a slogging tear-jerker either.  I thought the performances were excellent, and that they finally found a story worth all the CG-Eye-candy that was in it.  It didn't bore me, lemme put it that way.
And yes, even though the battle scenes were slowed up some, it wasn't like that all the time, and if you're into movies like Braveheart, it was a lot like that.
I'm not saying that a movie can't be picked apart by the fans.  That's sort of our prerogative isn't it? (Kenn, we've discussed creator-audience relations enough on this point don't you think?)
If it's a movie like Episode 1 or 2, I say torch it on the site.  But with Fellowship, you could tell that they obviously respected the material AND the audience enough to do a good tale justice. So why bitch about Liv Tyler's part (which was just long enough according to a buddy I saw it with that DID read Fellowship), and just experience it for what it was, which is a rollicking good time?
Let the smoking begin.... (rhythman1234@hotmail.com)
 
And now, some words from Joe, the Emotional Center.
 
You are all correct. I got quite a kick out of the film, but it's way too early to say "Best movie ever" about it. That takes time and getting a sense of perspective, which no one has about the movie right now. It's too new, too "Look! It's Aragorn!!!" to have ANY kind of objective opinion about it, good or bad.
 
I disagree with some critical things that have been said, and agree with others, but the only perfect movie is the one in your head, and nobody's going to film that. Unless, in my case, Lynda Carter is available.

Joe Crowe is Lynda Carter afficianado for RevolutionSF.

 
Recommend Us
  • Send to a Friend
  • Digg This
  • Reddit It
  • Add to del.ic.ious
  • Share at Facebook
  • Discuss!
  • Send Feedback
  • Whichever one it was that Deanna said this
  • Angel rewatch and discussion thread
  • Chuck
  • Subspace Forum
  • Related Pages
  • Print This Page
  • RevolutionSF Contest: Win Lord of the Rings Trivia And Quiz Book
  • SciFighters! Who would win: Sam Gamgee vs. Dr John Watson
  • The Hobbit
  • Search RevSF
  • New on RevSF
  • Book Probe: BattleMaster, Wade of Aquitaine, Kriendria of Amorium
  • RevSF Podcast: Drowning in Moonlight: Remembering Carrie Fisher
  • Logan
  • Book Probe: All Our Wrong Todays, Cubit Quest, Esper Files
  • RevSF Home

  • Things From Our Brains
    Get even more out of RevSF.


    Your very own sweaty black RevolutionSF T-shirt!
     
    RevolutionSF RSS Feed
     
    Search RevSF


    Random RevSF
    Trailer Probe: The Last Lovecraft : Relic of Cthulhu

     
     
     
    contact : advertising : submissions : legal : privacy
    RevolutionSF is ™ and © Revolution Web Development, Inc., except as noted.
    Intended for readers age 18 and above.