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Joe's Apartment: New Joe's Quick and Dirty DVD Review
Reviewed by Joe Hourcle, ©

Format: Movie
By:   John Payson (writer, director)
Genre:   Comedy/Fantasy
Released:   July 26, 1996 (theatrical release)
Review Date:  
Audience Rating:   Rated PG-13
RevSF Rating:   1/10 (What Is This?)

Pssst! For the downlow on New Joe's DVD rating philosophy, click here. Also, remember, Joe is reviewing the DVD, not the movie. A DVD of Batman & Robin could get a 10, if the features are cool enough. And A Clockwork Orange could wind up with a 1. Got it? Good.

Ever have one of those Sundays when you wake up, and there's nothing on yet but infomercials, so you decide to pop in a DVD, and review it, only you then realize that you don't have the remote control for the DVD player?

One of my roommates probably used it last, and put it somewhere other than next to the recliner that I normally sit in. I did, however, in the process, find eight other remote controls (TV, two VCRs, satellite, stereo, two that I was stripping for batteries, and a universal), along with 11 assorted Nerf darts, and three cell phone chargers. After all that, I found the correct remote, and so, could review the special features of yet another disk.

I'd give this movie a 0, if the scale went that low. It doesn't, so I'm stuck giving it a 1, which I don't really think that it fully deserves. This ranking has nothing to do with the defect that the disk had in it, which caused it to spew compression artifacts on the second viewing. (I had already seen it; then my roommates decided to watch it). Maybe it was a bad move to pick it up at Sam's Club, I admit.

I'd probably have never picked it up if people hadn't made comparisons, since I had an apartment in DC next to the trash chute when this came out. I don't even have a Sam's Club card. I just happened to be there with my neighbors.

So, before someone complains that the low score is based on a manufacturing defect - the only graphic on the entire damned disk was a big massive WB, with a message of 'experience our website'. The only experience we're looking for on your website are some pictures of the girls from Charmed… or Roswell, if it hadn't moved to UPN. I'm still pissed off at Warner Brothers since they own DC, the bastards who cancelled Lobo.

Anyway, back on topic… there are no special features. Even the scene select is text only. Therefore, a 1, and only because the rating scale doesn't go any lower.

--Rumor has it that RevSF columnist Joe Hourcle moved into a house purely to escape the never-ending barrage of Joe's Apartment jokes.

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