Pssst! For the downlow on New Joe's DVD rating philosophy, click
here. Also, remember, Joe is reviewing the DVD, not the movie. A DVD of
Batman & Robin could get a 10, if the features are cool enough. And
A Clockwork Orange could wind up with a 1. Got it? Good.
Ever have one of those Sundays when you wake up, and there's nothing on yet
but infomercials, so you decide to pop in a DVD, and review it, only you then
realize that you don't have the remote control for the DVD player?
One of my roommates probably used it last, and put it somewhere other than
next to the recliner that I normally sit in. I did, however, in the process,
find eight other remote controls (TV, two VCRs, satellite, stereo, two that
I was stripping for batteries, and a universal), along with 11 assorted Nerf
darts, and three cell phone chargers. After all that, I found the correct remote,
and so, could review the special features of yet another disk.
I'd give this movie a 0, if the scale went that low. It doesn't, so I'm stuck
giving it a 1, which I don't really think that it fully deserves. This ranking
has nothing to do with the defect that the disk had in it, which caused it to
spew compression artifacts on the second viewing. (I had already seen it; then
my roommates decided to watch it). Maybe it was a bad move to pick it up at
Sam's Club, I admit.
I'd probably have never picked it up if people hadn't made comparisons, since
I had an apartment in DC next to the trash chute when this came out. I don't
even have a Sam's Club card. I just happened to be there with my neighbors.
So, before someone complains that the low score is based on a manufacturing
defect - the only graphic on the entire damned disk was a big massive WB, with
a message of 'experience our website'. The only experience we're looking for
on your website are some pictures of the girls from Charmed
Roswell, if it hadn't moved to UPN. I'm still pissed off at Warner Brothers
since they own DC, the bastards who cancelled Lobo.
Anyway, back on topic
there are no special features. Even the scene select
is text only. Therefore, a 1, and only because the rating scale doesn't go any