by Mark Finn | |
Chapter Ten: The Mislaid Plans of Mouse and Man
Larry operating a computer was a lot like guiding a rhino through a hedge maze. It was doable, but only if you didn't mind how your hedge maze looked when the rhino was through with it. In all fairness to Larry, he did not have any kind of state-of-the-art system, like Burt. His computer was pretty fast, four years ago. In computer terms, however, that meant it was a dinosaur in a tar pit. Burt had long since given up on trying to fix or upgrade Larry's system. "This is, like, already a Frankenstein machine," he told Larry the last time he'd been asked to take a look at it. "You really just need to get a new 'puter." "But that's a lot of money," Larry said. "Plus, I've got all my files on there," he pointed out. "Yeah, for now. I'd make a back-up disk or two, just in case. And pray," Burt added. All Larry ever used his machine for these days was the occasional character sheet design in File-Right Plus, and of course, e-mail. It was the latter activity that demanded all of Larry's concentration on Thursday afternoon. He typed slowly, with his tongue poking out of the side of his mouth. It helped him to concentrate. When he concentrated, he made fewer typing mistakes, which meant he spent less time jacking around with his ancient mouse and its subsequent jittery pointer. It would have taken Larry less time to use the directional arrow keys to get the cursor to the offending misspelled word than it would have to try and position the jittery pointer over the word and click the cursor into place. Peripherals, Larry felt, were there to be used, and so he gamely struggled with his mouse as he tried to perfect the error-free e-mail. To: You Know Who You Are From: Stercutus@hotmail.comSubject: The Last-minute checklist Okay, this is the final checklist before we take off for Tempe. Call me if you don't have all of your bases covered. Everyone: $250.00, change of clothes, and sleep gear (just in case). D.J.: food and the cooler to keep it in. Get Mountain Dew! Burt: fake ID. Turk: costumes and props. Me: backhoe info (we 'll rent it!)I'm picking up D.J. first, then we'll drive over and get the college boys. D.J., I'll be outside your house at 7:30 AM. Don't make me honk. We should hit Tempe by no later than 9:00 PM. After that, Operation Get Rich, and then we're going home with the Phallus of Ebon Keep! Cha-Ching! Get some sleep. You'll need it. Lar Larry paused and reread his message again, wondering if he should have put everyone's detailed lists in the e-mail. On one hand, it never hurt to be too careful. He went back in and typed up their assignment sheets he'd handed out on Tuesday, then went back in with his jittery mouse and deleted them. They'll think I'm trying to boss them around, he decided, or maybe baby them. This e-mail will do. If there's something on the list that they had forgotten, this e-mail would serve to remind them. Beaming at his logic, Larry brought the shaky pointer up to his address book and double-clicked. A list of groups of people tumbled forth, and Larry carefully positioned his cursor over the list entitled "GUYS, THE" and double clicked, filling the "SEND TO" box with addresses. Larry glanced up and saw D.J.'s address, and, satisfied that all was right with the world, pressed SEND. The E-mail was away, and Larry got up, stretching, and went outside to make the back of his van suitable for humans. Unfortunately for Larry, the second he double clicked on his intended e-mail group, his shaky pointer zigged when it should have zagged, and instead filled the "SEND TO" box with the group entitled "GAMERS I KNOW." Ironically, D.J.'s e-mail address was at the top of both lists, as Larry had long ago culled out his three friends from the almost anonymous group of role-players scattered across the country. So, instead of hitting Burt, Turk, and D.J. with his perfect e-mail, Larry sent their final checklist to forty-eight different gamers from the Bay Area to Pittsburgh, PA. | |
Contents
Chapter One: The Navel Adventures of Larry Croft Chapter Two: 1123 Miles to Tempe Chapter Three: Enter the String Chapter Four: The Waiting is the Hardest Part Chapter Five: Rutlege's Story Chapter Six: The Plot Thickens Chapter Seven: The Fifth Man is Revealed Chapter Eight: It's a DRY Heat Chapter Nine: Preparing to Lam Chapter Ten: The Mislaid Plans of Mouse and Man Chapter Eleven: The Danger of Talking to God Chapter Twelve: Anchors Aweigh, Let's Go Men Chapter Thirteen: The End is Near Chapter Fourteen: Roll to Hit Chapter Fifteen: Six Feet of Beef Stick for the Soul Chapter Sixteen: Hello, My Name is Indio, California Chapter Seventeen: Threadgill Takes Charge Chapter Eighteen: The Players on the Other Side Chapter Nineteen: On the Road to Perdition Chapter Twenty: Welcome to Tempe Chapter Twenty-One: The Game is Afoot Chapter Twenty-Two: Should Have Known Better Chapter Twenty-Three: Test-Run at the Waffle House Chapter Twenty-Four: The Supply Run Chapter Twenty-Five: The Backhoe Chapter Twenty-Six: A Frank Discussion Chapter Twenty-Seven: A Brief History of Larry's Van Chapter Twenty-Eight: Go Speed Racer, Go Chapter Twenty-Nine: The Owner of the Thumbscrews Chapter Thirty: Brain Teasers Chapter Thirty-One: Frick and Frack Check In Chapter Thirty-Two: Scouting Chapter Thirty-Three: The Stakeout Chapter Thirty-Four: The Food Fight Chapter Thirty-Five: Time to Dig Chapter Thirty-Six: Deep in the Night Chapter Thirty-Seven: Paydirt Chapter Thirty-Eight: The Phallus of Ebon Keep Chapter Thirty-Nine: Otto and Stacy Make Good Chapter Forty: Thieves in the Night Chapter Forty-One: Critical Failure Chapter Forty-Two: Downtown Chapter Forty-Three: The Hoosegow Chapter Forty-Four: An Emergency Breakfast Chapter Forty-Five: Two Early Phone Calls Chapter Forty-Six: Threadgill Meets the Gang Chapter Forty-Seven: Back to the Van Chapter Forty-Eight: Five Days Later Epilogue Table of Contents |
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