Thirteen Days of Glory

December 7, 1835

The call has finally come! Word was delivered today that Houston sees the Texas uprising as being inevitable and all men who support the cause have been requested to rally in San Antonio. They have taken a mission, San Antonio de Valero, as their headquarters and expect that early next year, the actual conflict may begin.

My soul tells me that men such as these must have my support. This nation was founded on the rights of men to be free from persecution regardless of their beliefs. The Mexs must be stopped and I will be there to witness the triumph of the Spirit of Man.

Jamie, on the other hand, does not seem to understand. He stares at me with those deep brown eyes and says, "Don't go". Every fibre of my being wants to turn back and throw my gear in the corner, scooping him up to the bed

My resolve is firm, however. If I pass and do not fight for the rights of Man, I feel that I would never forgive myself. There will be yelling and crying and quiet love and whispered good-byes tonight. But tomorrow, I depart.

February 4, 1836

San Antonio is a miserable town. It is flat and has few trees. Although it is January there is no snow. Nor are there the mountains that so frame the scenery of my native Tennessee. Instead, there is the wind and the rain and the mud. The things that pass as trees are the cottonwood and the mesquite. Neither is particularly appealing. The cottonwood is the more prevalent, having a white residue that it sheds everywhere. The mission here is called by the Spanish name for cottonwood - Alamo.The mission itself is rather small and made from a baked mud called adobe. Inside it is relatively cool.There are maybe 150 men here. All seem dedicated to the cause. There has been no word on the rebellion or the Mexs. Some say that Santa Anna himself may be leading the fight. I hope to show him what Tennessee lead can do to Mexican flesh.Travis and Bowie are in charge. Neither is exactly as I had envisioned them, but dreams rarely measure up to life. Both have an air of command that is unmistakable. Others who said that they would follow either of them to the ends of the world and both of them further than even that. Having met them, I would probably do the same. Can a cause which enlists such men as these fail? And they say Crockett is soon to arrive with his men!

I still have the dreams of Jamie and there are times when my aching for him is so bad that I look for my horse so that I might leave. I think that it is his beard that I miss most of all. The lust that it arouses as it strokes the small of my back when we make love is almost too much to bear. Most nights I find myself unable to sleep until I have shed silent tears for my true love and I.

February 9, 1836

Crockett arrived yesterday in all of his buckskin glory. He truly measures up to the myths about him. He is a strong burly man with a soft touch and a sense of humor. We're from different areas of Tennessee but he was pleased to see that I had arrived before him and welcomed me as a comrade in arms. He is a man's man, compared to Bowie who is more genteel.

Though he could easily be the leader of the rebellion, he has deferred to Travis and Bowie to prevent dissension. The rebellion cannot help but succeed now. The Tennessee volunteers are all crack shots and afraid of no man or Mex.

February 20, 1836

Santa Anna is coming! For the last two days we have seen the dust cloud approaching. Travis has not been able to determine the size of the force yet but it must be 4,000 or more. We are less than 200. Men have been coming and going all along, though for the last few days more have left than have arrived.We are prepared for the fight. Though we have food and ammunition for a long siege, the sight of this large force may be more than many will be able to endure. I am prepared.I find myself musing on the possibility of Death more frequently now. Perhaps I will die in the forthcoming battle. If it must be so to win freedom for my comrades, then I will gladly go. Men have been persecuted for their beliefs for too long. Even though the Inquisition has officially been disbanded these 15 years, many among the Mexs (particularly among the priests) persist in the persecution. The irony does not escape us. For years, they labored under the yoke of Spain and fought to be free. We are comrades though they cannot and will not see it that way. We are now the prime targets for their persecution. They have said that they will never relinquish Texas to us for the homeland we desire, free from the religious persecution that has haunted us through the ages - from Europe, into America, and now into the undeveloped territories.

There is to be a party tonight as it appears that the fighting will soon begin.

February 22, 1836

Their army is spread before us like the sands on a beach. All that you can see for miles and miles are the tents and fires of our foes. DEATH AND DESTRUCTION! WE WILL BE FREE!

From my sleeping place I can hear the sounds of their bands, their women and children (for they often accompany their soldier fathers), and their whores. Our party last night may have been a mistake. I decided, as did several of the others, to put on my finest. The dress I chose was bright and colorful. My earrings flashed in the firelight. On my face, I put only some rouge and lip colors. I was the desire of every man present. Unfortunately, I drank too deep, trying to forget the memories of Jamie. A young boy was there. I never learned his name, but the caresses he gave me sent shivers down my spine. He, too, was trying to become lost in the moment. We went to my pallet and made drunken, passionate love. I called him Jamie several times; he called me Charles. The feel of penetrating him was like a long forgotten joy. I had had no man since leaving Jamie and the release of that tension was utterly draining.

Others must have felt the same. The soft moans of men joined in ecstatic love filled the night. The sound of the Mex's whores were wiped from our ears. We were 180 men in love with each other. We would do anything to help one another or we would die trying.